Excruciating pain

The last couple weeks I’ve been in excruciating pain. 

I knew I had a cavity in my tooth, but at first, the pain wasn’t that bad. It only took a few weeks for the pain to go from mild to AHHHH! HELP!

What’s worse is once it got really bad the pain wouldn’t subside. It was constant.

Without going to medical, you can get one pack of Ibuprofen (two tablets) every six hours. That didn’t even dull the pain at all.

Finally, I couldn’t take it any more, so I went to the dentist. They found a huge hole in my tooth and a nerve was exposed. They put me on prescription Ibuprofen until they can pull my tooth. For right now, the medication is helping, but it still hurts most of the day.

They are supposed to pull my tooth sometime this week. Probably Tuesday. I can’t wait.

This pain gets so bad at night that sometimes it’ll keep me up for hours. I’m sad I’ll be missing a tooth even though it’s in the back of my mouth, but at the same time, I can’t wait to get it out.

This was written before Ted had his wisdom tooth pulled. He still needs his wisdom tooth extracted.

Getting a job

I know I’ve probably talked about it before, but I can’t seem to find the right words to describe how I feel about how hard it’s going to be to get a job when I get out. 

Nobody wants to hire a felon. Especially one with a record like mine.

Even if I wasn’t a felon and I had a clean record, it’s still hard to get a job in this recession. So now that I’ve been to prison, it’s going to be that much harder. With so few jobs out there and everyone else applying for them, I’m going to be the first person they decide NOT to hire.

I know there are organizations that will help find me a job, but they are going to be the kind of jobs nobody else wants to do. I don’t want to be stuck working a job like that for the rest of my life.

I know I can do much greater things if I was just given the chance. I don’t care if it’s not a job that will make me rich as long as I like what I’m doing and making a difference. 

I just want to prove to myself and my family that I’m not doomed to spend the rest of my life in prison.

EmailingAPrisoner.com

Now there’s great new service that makes it easy to write an inmate.

Simply write a letter and email it to www.EmailingAPrisoner.com. They will print it, stuff it in an envelope, stamp it and mail it on your behalf through the US Postal Service. The envelope is addressed to the address you provide and has your return address listed in the upper right hand corner.

If you attach a photo to your message, your photo is printed on high quality 4x6 inch photo paper and mailed along with your letter. 
You can upload photos to a Photo Gallery in your account.

Each letter costs $1 (US). Overseas writers can write US inmates and it costs the same as someone writing domestically. Lots of people can save money by using the service because it’s much cheaper and faster than international mail. Credits can be added to your account through PayPal or a credit card.

Messages are not emailed to a prisoner. The company simply prints and mails your letter to an inmate. You can search for an inmate by state on the company’s web site. The company recommends limiting letters to 3 pages (roughly 3000 words). All messages are printed and mailed within 1 business day (excluding Sundays and Holidays). The service estimates 3 to 5 days for delivery.

EmailingAPrisoner.com makes it easy to find a pen pal. You can search for an inmate to write to on their site.

Ted has a new pen pal from the UK that told me about this awesome service. Right now, he will need to use double the amount of stamps (that a normal domestic letter would require) to write her back. But EmailingAPrisoner.com will soon launch a new service through the site where he can send the letters to EmailingAPrisoner.com (by snail mail), then they will scan the letter and email it to the person who it is meant for. This will save him money on international postage and the letter will arrive in a week instead of 2-3 weeks.

Not only can you save money in postage, paper, envelopes and photos, but it will save you the gas it costs to get to the post office!

Getting a tooth pulled in prison

I spoke with Ted on Monday evening. He had gone to the dentist and they had pulled his upper molar at 11:20 a.m. on Monday. They used Novocaine during the procedure, but he still felt pain, he said.

He was given one 200 mg Ibuprofen tablet at 4 p.m.

Ted said he could ask the dorm supervisor for more Ibuprofen – but only one tablet every four or six hours (he wasn’t sure how often).

When he called me at about 8 p.m., he was tremendous pain. He had received a piece of paper for more pain medication, but they never came to get him to give him the medicine.

After talking with Ted, I called the prison. I was told it would be straightened out the next morning. Meanwhile, they told me Ted could ask the dorm supervisor for another Ibuprofen.

Ted said the tooth finally stopped bleeding and they gave him Tuesday and Wednesday off from work. He said he would try to write more blog entries during that time.

I didn’t speak with Ted tonight on the phone. Hopefully they arranged to give him more pain medication than one 200 mg Ibuprofen tablet. I know when I had my tooth pulled, my dentist gave me Morphine and it still hurt!

Ted will still need to get his wisdom tooth pulled…

Getting canteen

The one thing anybody in prison can hope for at the end of the day is getting a money receipt saying somebody put money in your account so you can buy canteen.

It’s hard not having canteen. Without it, it seems like you never eat enough and your personal hygiene is lacking. Once you get a money receipt though, it’s like hitting the lottery. You can’t wait for the next day when you can go buy whatever you want. It’s the one thing nobody can stop you from doing.

When the next day comes and the canteen line opens up, everybody rushes toward the line, but unless you’re already right there waiting for it to open, you’ll always end up at the end of the line. To get to the front of the line can take an hour or two, but it’s worth it.

Once you finally get what you want, your first instinct is to hide it like it’s a pile of gold. There are a lot of people who don’t get money and don’t care to take what you have. Where I’m at right now, it’s not too much of a problem, but new people come in all the time. As long as you have a lock [on your locker], you’re alright.

To put money into an inmate’s canteen account, visit www.JPay.com. You will need the inmate’s name and DC number. Ted’s number is #131948 (Theodore Braden). Ted does have a lock on his locker and keeps his books, letters and items from canteen in the locker.

I spoke with Ted on the phone today. He informed me that his upper back molar (with the big hole in it) will not be filled. It will be pulled (possibly on Tuesday). I can’t imagine having a tooth pulled and only getting Ibuprofen for the pain!

Work release

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it or not, but I’ve been approved for work release [camp]. Now that I’m approved, I can’t wait. Every week I hope they’ll come and get me so I can go back to my county and be near my family.

It’s so hard being far away from the ones that love me. Plus, once I get to work release, I can get a job and start making money for when I’m released. That will help so much, considering I have nothing when I get out and I have to start over from scratch. I can use the money to pay off my fines ($2,000) so I can get my driver’s license back and put some of it toward a cheap car. Even if I don’t make enough money at work release for a car, it’s all right. The little bit of money I do make can still make all the difference.

At a work release camp, inmates leave the camp and work at a regular job for eight hours, returning to the camp after work. I’ve heard that 45% of their pay goes toward the cost of housing and food, and if they owe restitution (which Ted does), 10% of their paycheck goes toward paying that off.

I did talk to Ted tonight. He saw a dentist. In addition to the wisdom tooth pain, he has a huge hole in another tooth and the nerve is exposed. He is given Ibuprofen (500 mg) at 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. It doesn’t help, he says. He mentioned he would see a dentist to fix the hole on Tuesday hopefully.

People magnet

There are times, when for no reason at all, I get so frustrated.

I’ve never been the kind of person that likes to be around a lot of people and being here, I have no choice. I’ve gotten used to it for the most part, but there are times when I just want to sit and be by myself for a little while. But for some reason, everybody feels like when they see me alone, that I need someone to talk to.

Why is it when I want to hang out and talk to people, everybody is too busy, but when I want everybody to leave me alone, I’m like a magnet?

Really I could do all my time with maybe one or two people to talk to, but instead, I seem to be really popular. It’s most likely only because I’ve had news crews come and interview me, which in prison seems to bring unnecessary attention. It’s not always a bad thing, but it gets extremely aggravating. Everybody wants to get to know me or they think they already do.

Actually, to be honest, I’m in a pretty bad mood right now. No matter where I go to be by myself, people gather around me to talk. I try not to be mean, but it’s the only thing that will make them understand that I want to be left alone.

I could continue to rant forever so I’m just going to stop. I guess just talking about it like this kinda helps get it off my chest.

Tooth pain will put anybody in a bad mood!

Wisdom tooth pain

I talked again with Ted on Thursday at about 6 p.m. He said his wisdom tooth hurt tremendously and he had finally turned in a dentist request form two hours before. Ted was trying to put off seeing a dentist because he would be transferred back to Lake Butler (RMC) to get his wisdom tooth removed and Lake Butler is not a nice place to be. He doesn't know how long it will take for him to see a dentist and he doesn't know if he will be at Lake Butler for a few hours, a few days or a few weeks. He also doesn't know if his bed will be waiting for him back in Lancaster work camp. He was worried he might be stuck at Lake Butler.

He also mentioned that people were sick all over Lancaster work camp, not just in his dorm. He said less than half of the inmates were sick and the flu lasted three to four days. He added that two COs called off sick from work. Luckily, Ted still hasn't got the bug, but he said it's probably only a matter of time.

The trial that Ted was going to testify at as a witness on March 9 -12 was postponed, so he won't be transferred to the Pinellas County Jail for that trial. 

Ted also said that he may not get to go to a work release camp after all. Another inmate told him the waiting list for the Largo work release camp was very long and it may be months before a bed opens up. If he isn't transferred to a work release camp before a certain length of time, he won't go at all. Supposedly, those with less than three months remaining of their sentence aren't eligible. This is all based on what another inmate said, so who knows if it's true. A couple of weeks ago, Ted had earned enough gain time to be released on October 3, 2010.

Hopefully he will get his wisdom tooth taken care of soon and they'll give him some sort of numbing medication for the procedure.

Widespread sickness

I spoke to Ted on the phone tonight. He said almost everyone around him seems to be sick in bed. I didn't think to ask if this meant the whole camp or just his dorm. It seems that a bad flu has hit Lancaster work camp. He told me he was feeling fine right now, but expected that he would come down with it sooner or later.

The symptoms of the sickness include a high fever, not wanting to get out of bed, and (in his words) "anal leakage". He said that those that were really sick didn't have to go to work if they went to Medical.

Hopefully, everyone will get better soon. Ted did say he mailed more blog entries out this past Monday.

Crist, others support inmate rehab programs in tight budget

By John Frank, Times/Herald Tallahassee Bureau
In Print: Monday, February 15, 2010

Gov. Charlie Crist, once known for his support of prison chain gangs, is embracing an inmate rehabilitation effort often seen as "soft on crime."

The new mind-set, also welcomed by top Republican lawmakers, is not a change of heart from the lock-'em-up policies that dominated the past decade. Rather, it indicates how Florida's dire budget situation is making officials rethink the link between crime and punishment.

The shift is notable, given that Republicans are leading the discussion during an election year.

"I think that justice calls for many facets," Crist said Friday. "But I also think if there are individuals who can turn their lives around and get a second chance, especially youth, that's a worthy cause."

Nearly 90 percent of inmates will eventually leave prison, and one in three will commit a new crime within three years. If state prison officials trim recidivism by just 1 percent, they will save $8 million a year.

"Particularly in austere budget times, re-entry (programs) really make good business and public safety sense," Florida Department of Corrections Secretary Walt McNeil said. "It comes from the lock-them-up-and-throw-away-the-key (policies) — the evidence shows it has not been very effective."

As the state's chief warden, McNeil began preaching these reforms years ago.

But the political winds didn't change until June when three former Florida attorneys general, a retired Department of Corrections secretary and the state's powerful business lobby wrote a letter to Crist asking him to halt spending for new prison construction as available dollars grew scarce.

Each inmate costs state taxpayers $20,000 a year, and the prison population now tops 100,000, statistics show. The number of inmates is projected to grow 15 percent in coming years — an unsustainable pace, the group said.

In his executive budget, Crist proposed no money for new prisons and diverted funding for prison work camps to re-entry centers where the state assists inmates' transition into the community through job training and social services.

The thinking is spreading even to the Legislature, which in recent years has approved measures to abolish parole and implement minimum required sentences for offenders.

"The prudence of spending has helped to humanize the issue of incarceration," said state Rep. Darryl Rouson, D-St. Petersburg, a lawyer who is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.

For years when offenders left prison, the state gave them $100 and a bus ticket. But in recent presentations to lawmakers, state officials tout a program with space for 5,500 inmates that helps them find jobs and learn life skills — both keys to reducing recidivism.

It's about public safety, officials contend, not coddling criminals. And reducing crime means fewer victims in the future.

"We can measure the bad stuff but never capture all the bad things that didn't happen," said Rebecca Wolf-Reynal, a probation supervisor in Pinellas County who organizes re-entry programs.

The corrections agency is expanding these re-entry hubs in each of the state's four regions for inmates who have less than three years left in prison.

The re-entry facilities operate in conjunction with work release centers that help offenders find jobs before they are released.

Once the program reaches full speed, the state will serve nearly 7,000 inmates at any given time, though the agency wants to expand even further.

Gordon Lee Jr. participated in voluntary re-entry classes after serving 18 years in prison for a slew of drug charges. He left prison at age 40 with dim hopes after seeing others released only to return.

"They went back to the same environment with the same things and wound up with the same results," said Lee, now 42 and a supervisor at a car rental agency in Tampa. "But they taught me a lot of life skills. They made me feel like I had a chance."

The agency's new focus on helping offenders is bolstering a broader examination of how the state punishes criminals.

This year, House Bill 23, the "Second Chance for Children in Prison Act" — once deemed dead on arrival — is getting another look.

The legislation would allow the state's parole board to reconsider lengthy prison sentences given to youthful offenders. The sponsor, state Rep. Mike Weinstein, a Jacksonville Republican, is a prosecutor.

The bill also illustrates the difficulty faced by legislation perceived as being lenient on criminals. When Weinstein introduced the bill two years ago, he was labeled a "liberal." In a recent committee hearing, he began with a disclaimer: "This isn't a massive prison release system."

"Republicans worked a long time to do away with parole and some of them were reluctant to even crack the door," Weinstein said. "But the pendulum is coming the other way."

But not all lawmakers are softening their views. Other measures to add to the "hate crimes" statute and enhance the eligibility for the death penalty continue to get broad support.

"The No. 1 priority should always be public safety," said Republican Sandy Adams, the chairwoman of the House criminal justice budget committee and a former sheriff's deputy. "I don't believe we need to let criminals out of institutions just for budget purposes."

A number of law enforcement officials see it differently, including Hillsborough County Sheriff David Gee. "The only way to take (public safety) to the next level is through a good re-entry and recidivism program," he said. "When people listen to the facts, they are starting to understand."

Times/Herald staff writer Beth Reinhard contributed to this report. John Frank can be reached at jfrank@sptimes.com or (850) 224-7263.

Prison education

When you get to prison, you are assessed to see if you need or want an education. For me, I already had my GED when I came to prison, but I wanted to learn another trade. Unfortunately, even though I asked to learn one, I was never asked what I wanted to learn or told what is even available.

I have been told by people that work in prison that I should use my time to get a better education. Apparently, I can’t though. They don’t offer anything here at the work camp. It really didn’t matter to me, though, because I write a lot anyway. But for those that don’t have anything going for them, I don’t see how they can better themselves. It doesn’t seem like the state of Florida offers too many classes. It’s extremely limited.

To me, it seems like it’s almost impossible to rehabilitate a convicted felon in prison. Think about it. The only real classes are GED classes and if already have it or don’t, you spend your whole day around criminals who only talk about selling drugs, robbing people, etc… It seems like prison can only make a person worse. Although I’m sure there are a select few who actually make it because deep down inside they really want to change.

Gain time

It seems like it’s just about impossible to get all your gain time in prison and make your earliest release date. I try so hard to stay to myself (except for a few people who try to do the same thing) and do what I have to do to make my earliest release date.

Right now I have about three weeks worth of gain time when I should have about twice that. I can’t really complain though. Three weeks is better than nothing and at least I’m not maxing my time out. There’s a lot of people in her that don’t care about getting gain time. It seems like they don’t want to get out any sooner than they have to. Most people will tell you, “Hey, they can’t hold me in here forever.” Yea well, they can’t hold me forever either, but if I can get out earlier than my current release date, than I will.

Unlike most people that just don’t care, I want my gain time. I have people that love me on the outside and I want to be with them more than anything. I’ll do whatever I’m supposed to do to see them as soon as possible.

Inmates earn a certain number of days off for good behavior each month they stay out of trouble. That means, no write-ups or infractions of any kind. Ted has received five write-ups since he’s been at Lancaster work camp. One for having a piece of paper under his bed, one for sitting on someone else’s bed, one for leaving a pair of his pants on his bed while he went to sleep, one for someone else leaving loose tobacco on his bed, and one for not having his shoes tied.

A really close call

   

This is a story about old friends of mine. One day a couple of my friends were sitting in their car outside a house drinking. They were sitting there talking about nothing in particular, when one of them pulled out a .22 caliber handgun and started playing with it. They were both drunk at this point, so neither one of them protested. In fact, to them, guns are fun. Plus, if you were living the kind of life my friends and I were, it was almost a necessity to have one.

Anyway, after loading his gun, my friend – who was sitting in the passenger seat – said, “Watch this,” then leaned out the window and took a shot at the stop sign right in front of them.

I guess neither one of them noticed that about the distance of a city block in front of them, there was a group of kids playing in a park. So right when my friend pulled the trigger, all the kids went running and screaming.

Both of my friends took off and came back later to find out that everyone was okay. Nobody even knew what happened. Thank God.

They both decided that day to never drink when guns are around. Sure it would’ve been better if they stopped drinking and messing around with guns altogether, but you can’t convince them to do that. Maybe now they’ll read this and remember just how lucky they were.

Photos: Park where kids usually play; bullet hole near top left of letter "P".

It's great to hear from you

The last couple weeks I’ve been getting letters from so many people all over the world. From Charleston, WV to Belgium and Germany. It means so much to me that people from all over the world (that I don’t even know) can take the time to write me and give me advice and encouragement. I can’t even get people I know to write me, so for someone that’s never met me to take the time to write means more to me than you know.

When I started writing, I never thought anybody outside of my city would read my blogs, let alone the country.

Anyway, please keep up the good advice and words of encouragement. I never throw away any of the letters I receive. I save them all, so please keep it up.

Ted will write back to anyone that provides an address, but he can’t write anyone outside of the U.S. because it requires airmail postage.

Joseph Vigliotti

Well, I don’t know where to start. I guess I’ll say who I am. I’m Joseph Vigliotti. My friends and family call me Joe. I’m 20 years old and have been in Lancaster Correctional Institution since June 2009. To the boys in here, I’m Fro Joe, Viggy, Joey and Vigliotti. To the COs, I’m Inmate Vigliotti, G15656.

See back in 2007, I stole a couple of things I shouldn’t have. I was just two months into my 18th year of living and dating a girl I would spend two years of my young life with. It all started after seeing a Harry Potter movie. We came back from the movie theater and it was just about 1 a.m. I had to work the next day at a reptile farm. Well, my girl at this time had a couple of problems with her neighbors, so she sweet talked me into stealing from these people. I stole their stuff and not even a week later, the detective was at my girlfriend’s house and she told the police everything.

I helped the lead detective recover the majority of the stolen property from my hiding spot in the woods. I went to County two weeks after that. I was in County Jail for three months. I got out in October, worked for a concrete company, was placed on probation and violated probation in December 2007. I went back to my county jail in January and got out in February. I was on probation from March of 2008 to January of 2009. I violated again. (Both of my violations were from failed or tampered with pee tests.) Went back to jail and got out in the very beginning of March. I went back to drugs and drinking hard during this period. I got arrested again in April for resisting arrest without violence. I bonded out a day later. Then I had a court appearance on May 7, 2009, got arrested as soon as I walked in the courthouse, and I have been behind bars ever since.

I am not a special dude. I’m our average Joe. I live in Levy County, Florida - a county that has almost nothing. I am 20 minutes from Gainesville and have access to some of the biggest sand hills in Florida. I enjoy mudbogging, clubbing and funny movies. I used to eat pills, smoke marijuana and drink tremendous amounts of alcohol. After years of doing nothing and sitting in Lancaster, I really want to better myself. I have a family that tried to help me, but I turned my cheek to them and kept going down this path. I have my whole life to live, but now I have this experience on my record and my mind.

If anybody could read this and it helps them or touches them in any way, I want you to look at yourself, help yourself, help your loved ones, read ANY passage out of a Bible, don’t drink that beer, don’t roll that swisher, don’t do that cocaine. Don’t be a follower – be a leader. Lead yourself to be you – not who they want you to be, but YOU and do what you have to. A wise man once told me – “Life is easy. Living is hard.”

So please don’t follow me. Don’t let your children be like me.

I want to thank Teddy Braden for letting me say a little bit of my mind. I love ya bro. Okay, I’m done wasting your time. I’ll be here.

- Joseph Vigliotti

Photo from Joe's MySpace page.

Frozen in time

I don’t see how people can do 5, 10, 20 years in prison and not hate life. I only got two years and it seems like it’ll never end. Sometimes it feels like time is flying by, but if I sit and think about it, it seems like it’s dragging on. Days seem to go by quick, but months seem to never end. I really don’t understand how people deal with the fact that they’re not getting out any time soon.

As for me, I know I don’t have that much time left and I feel like I’m going mad. Even though I have plenty of things to keep my days occupied, it seems like I can’t pass enough time. I try so hard not to think about it, but it’s hard not to. I know it’s only a small fraction of my life that I’m spending in prison, but it still feels like forever.

If you ever want to have the feeling that time is frozen, spend some time in prison. Well, at least try to imagine it. Don’t actually come here. Besides the time, there are a million reasons why prison sucks. Time dragging by is only one reason.

In prison you're on your own

Keep in mind there’s a lot of things I can’t write about while I’m in prison. Xxxx xxx xxxx xxxx xxxx xx xxx xx xxx xxxx xxx xxx xxx xxxx. (Sentence scratched out.) Even with that in mind, there are still plenty of reasons why a person should do everything in his or her power to not end up in this place.

It’s almost a guarantee that you’ll go to at least two or three prisons during your sentence and at each institution, it’s always the same thing. People will approach you to see where your heart is at. Whether you’re strong or weak, have money or not, whether you’re in a gang and if so, which one. It’s unavoidable. You will be tried.

For instance, I sleep next to someone who had a star tattooed on his arm – which was not gang related, but somebody made him burn it off with a cigarette just because it had five points on it.

So much goes on in prison that the COs never see. Sure they’re aware people do things like that. They can’t be everywhere at once to stop it.

So if you come to prison, just know you’re on your own. There won’t be anyone there to help you.

Ted's Greece photography

Hopefully, a letter will arrive today. Ted would like to travel again when he is released. We're not sure if his felony record will be a problem when entering certain countries. (Click photos to enlarge.)

Ted's Alaska photography

I spoke to Ted on the phone today and he said new blog entries will likely arrive in my mail tomorrow.

Ted would like to go back to college to study photography and English to fulfill his dream of becoming a writer/photographer. He has published some photos, but unfortunately, stacks of magazines which had been stored in our garage were burned. Ted used to have friends over and they sat outside our house around an outdoor fireplace. Many of the magazines that had his published photos were used by some of those friends to fuel the fire.

I tried to find some of his published photos by going through old computer files and honestly don't remember which were published and which were not.

So here is a sampling of some of Ted's photography which he took on a 10-day interior trip to Alaska. (The blog publishing site only allows five photos at once to be uploaded per entry.) An article about this trip can be found here.

Magazine model

I'm still waiting on new blog entries from Ted...

In 2002, I began freelancing for various magazines as a writer and photographer. Ted had the good fortune (or not – according to him) to be my model and appeared in several magazines, including several by Visit Florida, Florida Fish and Game, and other outdoor and travel publications.

Next: Ted’s published photography

Mystery shopping

When Ted was 14, he started accompanying me as a companion in a mystery shopping business I co-owned with my fiancé (now husband). We went undercover - posing as customers - to hotels, restaurants and even on cruises. Ted went with me to Alaska, Mexico, the Caribbean, Italy and Greece. We wrote detailed narrative reports on the quality of the food, ambiance, and the employees’ integrity, attitudes, efficiency and service. This was Ted’s first exposure to writing and reporting on conditions – traits that would eventually help him in authoring the Teen in Jail blog.

The company was put aside when we started an international travel magazine (our publisher and financial backer died last February) and so we’re resurrecting the mystery shopping business. Ted plans to again continue as a shopper when he’s released.

Photos from a past life

I spoke with Ted tonight on the phone. He sent some blog entries out to me on Monday, but they were returned to him because he forgot to put a stamp on the envelope.

Ted did tell me he was finally approved for a work release camp. He's just waiting for a bed to become available. Inmates who are going to work release camp choose two camps to go to - usually camps close to their homes. Ted chose two camps in his home county - both are within 30 minutes of his home. That's much better than the current three-hour distance.

People often ask if Ted is truly a changed person now. Everyone who knew him before and has talked with him agrees that yes, he is a different person. He has admitted gang involvement and how it has ruined his life. He wants to help other kids avoid the same mistakes he's made. He does not want to hang around anyone in prison that wants to go back to drugs and gangs. He constantly talks of bettering himself, although he does fear that there will be huge obstacles, such as finding a decent job.

I remember one thing that a counselor told Ted in a juvenile drug rehab center when he was 15: To truly be successful in changing your life, you must cut all ties from your past life. Your old friends will only drag you down and get you back into drugs and crime.

Photos: Ted in his past life (from his MySpace page):

Darren

A man named Darren read the Teen in Jail blog and left a comment under the blog entry titled "Oh grow up" on January 22nd. He wrote:

"A friend sent me this link, my name is Darren 45, I was just like Ted. I was locked up at 12 and did not stop until I was 40. But like you my family stuck by me for all those 24 years of lockup. It was a long haul. But in the end I found my voice, myself and life. I began to write inside and now am a very accomplished poet. I have a five year old son and now a daughter that is going to come and live with me. I have divested parole long ago. And am going to school. Doing the right thing all the time has its rewards, not the huge payoff of an armed robbery or drug deal, but I find that when something good does transpire however small, like a green light, or getting the bills paid, these are rewards that make me smile, I still hope for success as a writer, or to be rich, but now common sense rules that. I love that stories like Teds are getting out there, so many people think building more prisons is the answer. What I do think is that they need more education, and people like Ted or I involved to help the kids slipping between the cracks, like Ted or I. Just recently here a play was put on by a bunch of cons. And I go read my poetry out loud. Tell Ted that life is beautiful, that living among sane people is much better, most of all tell him to like himself. I wish my mom would have had the same devotion. Ted is lucky to have his mom. I hope he know this. Darren"

I asked Darren to email me some poems and I would post one. He wrote back:

"I sent a few that were about being locked up, and ones about the only friends I ever made that are never leaving that place, I sent some that have been written since I have been out. A person can change, and become happy with who he is. The prison enrollment seems to be the thing for so many young, I fight for my son Aiden's future now. Darren"

Here is his poem:

From my little hole on this planet,
I can’t see just where I am
There is a world out there.
I can still hear its calls,
Just can’t envision it anymore.
Lost in this bottomless pit,
I breathe the same air as the people out there.
But like some delirious dog, I am kept at bay.
An electric fence keeps me inside,
A side of society’s face they must hide.
Only when I lay my head down at night
Do I leave this darkness behind.
I then wake here again.
Oh my God, back in the land of the damned.
I wish I could find a bridge to nowhere
Because with all my heart and soul I would be there.
But I am locked in this penitentiary
A madman’s sanctuary
Faced daily with anguish
And myself made slavery.
I only that hope one day
The screams in my head will take over.
Then the inescapable chore of living here
I'd no longer have to fear.

Photos: Darren and his son Aiden

Don't be friendly

I don’t care if you try to stay to yourself while in prison or not. There are always people trying to get things out of you. At first it’s petty – like one cookie or one cigarette. But over time, it adds up. It’s always just one of something.

I learned that even before I came to prison. You can’t be friendly. After awhile, people will leave you alone, except the few people who actually want to be your friend. Be careful though – even these people can be deceiving.

The world inside these prison gates are cruel and over time, it kinda hardens you, so to speak. You learn to tell people what you’re really thinking. Sometimes you get so aggravated because people won’t leave you alone, you just sort of snap on people for the littlest things. That’s only happened to me a couple of times and they happened to be some of my friends. I feel guilty for doing it, but an apology would show weakness. So I explained my situation to them and left it at that. Your true friends (at least for your prison term) will understand.

What I guess I’m trying to say is, don’t be friendly in any way. Once you do, you’ll never see the end of it.

Back to court

Last week I got a subpoena to go back to court in March. Only this time it’s not for me. There is this guy I know who got in some pretty serious trouble. I don’t know if he’s guilty or not, but I guess he wants me to come to his trial and speak on his behalf. I truly feel sorry for him, especially because he’s been in the county jail for three years almost.

I really wouldn’t mind going to his trial date if I wasn’t in prison. Going back to court from prison is such a pain. I’ll have to be transferred back to the RMC reception center first, then to the county jail for the duration of his trial. I’ll probably stay in the county jail for about three weeks and the worst part is – I’ll most likely have to spend my time there in maximum security. Then once I’m done going to court, I’ll go back to RMC, then come back here to Lancaster work camp. It’s always a real pain. Why can’t they just take me to the county jail a day before the three-day trial and once it’s done, drive me back – instead of weeks at each place? Huh. I’m not looking forward to any of it.

The sad thing is, this particular trial has been postponed four or five times already and will most likely be postponed again. RMC (at Lake Butler) is the prison that was filthy and crawling with bugs.

Mornings

The mornings are the worst. We wake up at 5 a.m., get up to brush our teeth and shave. Also we have to make our beds perfectly with a six-inch collar and 45-degree angles at the end of our beds. Of course, we can’t have any wrinkles in our beds.

After we finish making our beds and complete our hygiene, we just sit (not lay) on our beds and wait for breakfast. When we are called for breakfast, we go outside and line up. Once everyone is lined up, we march to breakfast. The chow hall is close, so we don’t have to march far. It’s only two buildings away. We go in and eat, and then line back up outside again. We only have about 10 minutes to eat our food.

Anyway, after we line up, we march back to our dorm where we get a five-minute cigarette break for those who smoke, then we go back inside where we sit on our bunks for the next hour and a half until 8 a.m. when the next [CO] shift comes on.

It seems like the mornings drag and it never seems like you get a full night’s sleep. A lot of times, I stay tired throughout the day and go to sleep really early. That’s the only way to get any decent sleep. Even then, you still have people waking you up until Lights Out. I just can’t wait to sleep in my own bed.

My ex-girlfriend

Today I got a letter from my ex-girlfriend. I’m not sure how long it’s been since we talked to each other, but I know it’s been awhile. I’m just glad she wrote. She probably doesn’t know this, but she was the first girl I ever really loved.

Even though we’re not together anymore and we haven’t talked to each other in awhile, I still love her. I thought that after awhile, my feelings for her would go away, but they haven’t. Sure, I got over the fact that we’re not together anymore, but I still care about her.

About a month or so before we broke up, I surprised myself by asking her to marry me. A lot of people probably thought we were too young, but it didn’t really matter to me. At the time, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Actually, part of me still does, but I know it won’t happen.

I don’t think I could ever feel the same way about anyone else like I did with her. Really I don’t know if I’d want to. In the end it’s too painful.

I just want to say this last thing to her: No matter what, I still love you and I hope we will at least remain friends.

Getting burned

It’s kind of ironic that I just talked about no matter how sick you get in prison, all you can really get is non-aspirin. Well, about 10 minutes after I wrote that, I went to work to start cooking dinner for the compound. I was only at work for about an hour or two before I burned my right hand. I was lifting the lid to the kettle up and a huge cloud of steam came rushing out and burned my hand.

At first I thought that it would only hurt for 10 – 20 minutes and then it would feel better, but after about an hour, it only got worse. So they took me to Medical and gave me some cream that doesn’t make the pain go away, non-aspirin (prison’s universal cure) and a no-work pass for three days. Unfortunately, two of the three days of my no-work pass fell on my two days off anyway. Well, at least I get one extra day off work.

Writing to Teen in Jail

Last night, an old friend of Ted's who he hasn't seen in a very long time - "T" - knocked on my door to give my husband a letter for Ted. I had conked out at 7:30 p.m. after riding six hours and sitting for six more hours to visit Ted. I was sorry to miss seeing "T". I know Ted will love getting his letter.

While knocking on my door is one way to get a letter to Ted, there's a much simpler way! On the home page of Teen in Jail, Ted's current address is always displayed (right under the site counter). Currently Ted is at the following address:

Braden, Theodore, DC #131948
Lancaster C.I.
3449 SW State Road 26
Trenton, FL 32693-5641

I update that address every time Ted is transferred. If Ted is moved before he receives a letter, the prison will forward it to his new location (although this might take awhile).

For those that hate to hand-write letters and don't have a printer, you can always send an email to teeninjail@yahoo.com. (I usually have to weed through all the notifications that he won 10 million dollars. Boy, wouldn't that be nice?) Sometimes I forget to check that email address, but when I do, I print out the emails and send them to Ted.

You can call him "Ted" (although in prison, they just yell "BRADEN!!!") If you include a return address, he will write you back. (And "T", you can send me your return address to that email!)

Ted can receive greeting cards, but the envelopes must be white or yellow. Don't ask me why they can't be different colors - I don't know. I once sent a Halloween card with an ORANGE envelope (the horror!) and it was returned to me. Another Halloween card had PLASTIC EYEBALLS which apparently is a BIG no-no! So, make sure any cards don't have plastic pieces, glued-on decorations and most terrible of all - no singing cards!

Ted can also receive up to five photos per letter (standard 3X5's or 4X6's). Use discretion when sending pictures, though. No bikinis, for instance, or anything relating to gangs. Make sure you put your return address on the envelope.

Ted loves getting letters. Since he's been in prison, he has received letters from me, his father, his step-father, and just recently - his former girlfriend and two complete strangers. His disabled grandmother, who is completely paralyzed except for one hand, even managed to write him a letter. It completely makes his day to get mail. Strangely enough, the rest of his relatives and friends have not written him.

Being sick in prison

I can write about how much prison sucks all day, but one of the worst times to be in prison is when you’re sick. It doesn’t really matter if you have a simple cold or the flu. The only thing you get for any sickness is generic non-aspirin – which doesn’t do a thing.

Plus, since I’m at a work camp, I have to work five days a week and it doesn’t matter how sick you are – you still have to go and do your job.

If you really wanted to, you can put in a medical request to see the doctor – who will give you something a little bit better than non-aspirin. But if you do that, it takes about three days or so for them to call you out and usually your sickness will be going away by then. Plus they charge you five dollars.

A lot of people, if they’re sick, will declare medical emergencies and go to the doctors right then, but all they’ll do is say that your condition isn’t life-threatening, charge you five dollars, send you back – then bring you back a couple of days later and charge you another five dollars.

No matter which way you look at it, it sucks to be sick in prison.

The Throw Away Kids

The Throw Away Kids Network is a prison outreach program that serves the needs of juveniles who are currently inside Florida correctional facilities - many of whom feel unloved and unwanted and have nowhere to turn.

Rita Pearson, the founder of The Throw Away Kids Network, started the program as a means of getting inside a juvenile facility where her son, Jake, is currently incarcerated. Jake was arrested at the age of 17 before he could carry out a plan a shooting at his school. The FBI intercepted Jake’s internet chat room conversation where he was trying to obtain a gun. See a news video of Rita and a photo of Jake here. Ironically, Jake was arrested two days before Ted on October 28, 2008.

Rita now visits several juvenile correctional facilities and arranges to have Christian rap groups, bikers and motivational speakers visit the kids. Her mission is to show them that they are not forgotten and she hopes to bring about a change in some young lives. Rita works full-time for the state and spends her weekends and free time traveling all over the state visiting various juvenile facilities. Help for these kids can be obtained through counseling and talking to parents, teachers and pastors.

Rita told me about Hidden Rage, a movie about Joshua, a high school freshman who gets picked on, bullied and beaten up every day at school. His teachers aren't aware of the situation and his only friend, Stephen, is too afraid to step to his defense. No one sees the signs of Joshua’s hidden rage - until one day he gets pushed too far…

Hidden Rage is a wakeup call and seeks to reach out to kids in today’s culture of violence. It explores many of the possible triggers that would cause a person to snap. At the same time, the movie also demonstrates the consequences of resorting to violence to solve your problems. The goal of Hidden Rage is to act as a starting point for dialogue among parents, students, teachers and law enforcement agencies nationwide.

For movie showings, see Hidden Rage on Facebook.

The Throw Away Kids Network is a pending 501C3 organization and relies on donations for funding. Visit Rita's MySpace page for photos and more info, or email her at ritapearson731@yahoo.com.

Here's a movie trailer of Hidden Rage:

Ted's injury

I’m currently waiting for more letters from Ted.

Ted called me on Monday and told me he had burned his right hand. He was lifting the cover off a steaming pot of potatoes and the steam caused first-degree burns. He told me his entire hand was red (like a really bad sunburn) and hurt a lot. He was given Ibuprofen for pain and cream. He told me tonight on the phone that his hand is better. He did manage to write some more entries and sent them out in the mail this morning.

About three or four weeks ago, I noticed on the Florida Department of Corrections site that Ted’s custody level was dropped from minimum to community. Ted will be eligible to go to a work release camp. A work release camp is different from a work camp (where he is now). He is able to choose two work release camps near his home in Pinellas County. When a bed opens up at one of them and he has been processed, he will be moved. The whole process takes between 30 and 60 days.

In a work release camp, Ted will need to find a job and will be able to leave the compound to go to work. He will return to the compound each day after his shift. Ted doesn’t know much more than this. He doesn’t know if the camp officials help in obtaining a job and if transportation is provided, or if he must take public transportation to the job.

Ted also tells me he’s been written up four times in the past three weeks. Each write-up delays his transfer to a work release camp between 10 and 20 days. So right now, he doesn’t know when he will be transferred. In Ted’s words - “the more I try not to be written up, the more write-ups I get.”

Ted was also issued a subpoena as a witness in a criminal case in Pinellas County which will take place in early March for three days. He tells me that he will be transferred to the Pinellas County Jail for probably three weeks for this three-day trial. While in the Pinellas County Jail, he will not be able to earn any gain time. After the trial is over, he will return to Lancaster Work Camp to await his transfer to a work release camp back in Pinellas County. Ted will then be about 30 minutes from his home, rather than three hours away as he is now.