A Thanksgiving surprise

I called Lancaster C.I. on Tuesday, November 24th and asked if they had received my visitation form yet. They hadn’t. I had mailed a form to Brevard on November 3rd and another to Lancaster on November 20th. Visitation forms could take up to 30 days to process.

The next day, I called Lancaster again at 11 a.m., hoping that they received my form and I might be able to visit Ted on Thanksgiving. I prayed a lot for that over the past week! They told me to call back at 1 p.m.

I called again at 1 p.m. I pretty much had given up hope that I’d be able to visit Ted on Thanksgiving, but thought I might get to visit him on Christmas.

I was transferred to Ted’s classification officer. She was extremely nice. She told me she had received the form and took the time to process it and to conduct the background check right over the phone! I now would be able to visit Ted on Thanksgiving Day!

I hurriedly packed. Before leaving, I checked the mail and found a letter from Ted. He had enclosed four more visitation forms. I knew he would have no clue whatsoever that I was coming!

I reserved a room at a small motel outside of Trenton and drove the six miles to Lancaster to make sure I could find it in the morning.

I was up very early the next day and got to the prison promptly at 9 a.m. Visitation hours were 9 a.m. until 3 p.m., although visitors could arrive at 8:15. I soon found out why someone would want to get there early. It took 45 minutes to process the initial visitation and 15 minutes more for Ted to arrive at the visitation room.

I finally saw Ted in person for the first time in 13 months! (At the county jail, we visited on a video monitor and even then, the last video visitation was on September 9th.)

Boy was he surprised! We were allowed to hug once at the start of the visit and once at the end of the visit. I stayed from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m.

Ted asked if I could come the next day too, so I got another room at a different motel (which was cheaper and nicer) and arrived the next day at 8:15 a.m. We visited on Friday from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m.

We talked for 11 hours over those two days! I found out a lot of information and heard some pretty horrific stories, which Ted will write about.

Both of us feel a whole lot better now.

A bad week for someone else too

Here at the Orlando Reception Center, I’m not the only one watching his back this week. (See previous entry.)

In my pod, there is one guy that supposedly snitched on a gang member at another camp. As it turns out, somebody recognized him.

Ever since certain people found out, they’ve been discussing what they should do. After a day of contemplating, they decided to poke him up (stab him). They made a shank and all.

I’m not sure when they’re going to do this, but supposedly it’s a for sure thing. The only fact I know for certain is they made a shank for just that purpose.

All I can do for him is pray. He thinks he might leave on the same bus as me and for his sake, I do too.

A lot of people have 10 years or more and wouldn’t mind doing the job.

Please pray for him also.

It turns out the young man did not leave on the same bus as Ted. At this time, it’s not known what happened to him.

Photo: A collection of confiscated prison shanks (Click photo to enlarge.)

A bad week

Today is November 17th and I’m here at the Orlando Reception Center a week longer than I thought I’d be. I guess the prison didn’t do transfers last Wednesday because of Veteran’s Day, so hopefully I’ll be leaving in the morning.

This last week has been one of the worst weeks so far. As it turns out, somebody found out that I used to be in a gang, so immediately I had a target on my head.

I was approached by five or six Blood gang members and they questioned me about my status. I told them that I folded my flag, but that made them even more mad. Then they told me to spit my knowledge, so I did. I’m not sure why, but they got angry. I think because I know more than them. I’m just guessing though.

Their questioning ended with them telling me they were going to jump me with locks in socks. So of course I got worried, but I still stuck around. I figured I’d be better off than if I ran and told a CO. So for the last week, I’ve been watching behind me more than in front of me.

After a week though, I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re not about that. I showed them I wasn’t scared of them, so I think I’m going to be okay.

Plus I’ll be leaving in the morning most likely, so I’m done worrying about it.

Letter dated November 5, 2009

Hiya Mom,

Sorry I haven’t written you in two weeks, but I haven’t had a pen.

This morning I was transferred back to Orlando and next week I’ll be going to Lake Butler for a week or two until I go to another camp. I’ll probably be going to either Lancaster or Lake City. Both are up in North Florida.

You said in your last letter that somebody was stabbed at Brevard in 2003. Well that may be true, but there has been a lot more since then also. It’s nothing but gang violence everywhere.

So even though Lancaster and Lake City are farther away, it’s safer. Plus I want to try to go to the work camp at Lancaster. It’ll be more laid back there and nobody is trying to get in trouble.

Right now I have 20 stamped envelopes left. I somehow lost 15 on my way here. Just so you know.

Also, I am sending five blogs I wrote before I went in the box and another I wrote in the box, so you should get 10 blogs altogether. I’m also sending a visitation form. It’s from Brevard, so I don’t know if it’s any good. If you can, try to call Lake Butler and find out. I wouldn’t see why it’s not any good. They all have to go to Tallahassee anyway. I’ll get more at my next main camp just in case.

Oh yea, my classification officer said to have you make copies of the visitation form. She said that’s okay.

Last but not least, I’m working on my phone list, but I can’t turn it in until I get my telephone pin number. I’m going to try to do that at Lake Butler. Ahhh, it’s so hard to get things done.

Anyway, I’m going to answer all those questions you asked me when I get to my next main camp.

Love you and miss you and I hope I can see you soon.

Love Teddy

P.S. I never did get those books and probably won’t.

I mailed visitation forms back to Brevard on November 3th and to Lancaster on November 20th. I haven't yet been approved for visitation. I guess I won't be seeing Ted on Thanksgiving.

What I miss the most

Being incarcerated makes a person realize all the things they took for granted on the outside.

I miss some of the littlest things – like being able to use the bathroom without other people in the room or being able to get up whenever I want and go to the refrigerator. I also miss just sitting in the house on a rainy day playing cards or a board game with my family.

Really what I miss the most is not having someone tell me when to eat, sleep and go outside.

Even though I miss being out of prison, I thank God that I only have nine months left. There’s a lot of people in her that won’t ever be seeing the streets again.

So everything that I miss on the outside will still be there waiting for me.

To my family: “I’ll be home soon.”

Getting things done

Since I first got to prison at the end of September, I’ve been trying to get two request forms, but it seems like everywhere I’ve been, they’re all out. I haven’t seen one since I’ve been here.

I need to fill out a request form to Classification so they can give me a visitation application form to send to my family. I also need a request form so I can see the dentist and get my wisdom tooth pulled. It’s killing me.

I just don’t understand how I’ve been here a month, but haven’t been able to fill out a request form to save my life.

I wouldn’t be that concerned about it, but the longer it takes me to get the visitation form, the longer it will be until I see my family.

Once I finally get the visitation form filled out by my mom, it could still take a couple of months to get approved. It takes forever to get anything done.

Update: Ted visited a prison doctor who refused to pull his wisdom tooth, saying it was not necessary. Brevard did finally send me visitation forms and I saved one. I made a copy and sent it to Lancaster already last week. But I probably won’t see Ted until after Thanksgiving and Christmas are over. I last saw Ted on September 9, 2009 at the Pinellas County Jail over a video visitation phone. The last time I saw Ted in person was October 30, 2008.

Teen in Jail has a new web URL

Ted is no longer a teen and is no longer in jail. He turned 20 and is now in prison.

But since "Teen in Jail" is easy to remember - and because he wants to reach other teens - the site name will remain the same. I've purchased a custom URL - www.teeninjail.com. The other URL, www.teeninjail.blogspot.com also still works.

Ted can only write about a small percentage of his experiences while he's in prison, but plans to write a book when he gets out. His release date could be as early as July 2010 or he could remain in prison until October 2010.

Ted has much more to write about his experiences while he was a teen in juvie, drug rehab and jail.

Teen in Jail is also looking for advertising sponsors through Google AdSense or PayPerPost.com.

The Orlando Reception Center

The Central Florida Reception Center in Orlando is a lot bigger than Lake Butler, but in my opinion, Lake Butler was way nicer. There we get canteen almost every day, but here we don’t. I’ve only been here a day, but I know we don’t get canteen much.

Also at Lake Butler, people were allowed to smoke, but you can’t here, unless you’re on the Adult side. Right now they’ve got me with 18 – 24 year olds. Everybody in that range is consider a Youthful Offender.

The thing I hate most about this place is they make us march. They did that at Lake Butler too, but here they go overboard with it. I can’t wait to leave here.

Our cells aren’t bars like Lake Butler either. There are doors controlled with an electronic lock.

At least there’s a dayroom here. At Lake Butler there wasn’t. They dayroom here sucks though. There isn’t enough room for everybody to sit and the only channel they watch is the Spanish Channel. Nobody here is even Spanish!

Just like Lake Butler, it’s always hot. There isn’t any A/C. We’ve got a window in the room though. I’m not sure what purpose it serves because you can’t see out of it.

I’m still learning about this place. I just got here yesterday, but I won’t learn too much because I’m leaving tomorrow.

Ted was sent to Brevard for a few weeks and returned to the Orlando Reception Center for two more weeks before being sent to Lancaster.

The bus ride

After the guards got their guns from the front gate, we left Lake Butler. We took a bunch of side roads until we got onto the interstate. A lot of people were smoking cigarettes the whole time.

I spent my time looking out the window watching the cars. It had been a year since I got to watch traffic go by. On my last bus ride, we couldn’t see much of anything because it was night.

The whole time I just watched the cars. The trip took about three hours I think.

I noticed that when we got there, it wasn’t a permanent camp. It was another reception center.

We got off the bus, walked through some gates and were strip searched. After that, we went inside and were given a bed roll. Then they took us to our dorm.

This place [CFRC- Main in Orlando] is so much worse than the last place. I’m glad I’ll only be here for two days. I’ll be going to my permanent camp on Friday.

It turned out Brevard was even worse.

Another transfer

This is the transfer from Lake Butler to the CFRC in Orlando before Ted was sent to Brevard. I’ve just recently received letters from Ted that were written weeks ago.

Last night, a CO woke me up to tell me that I was being transferred. I thought I was going to go to my permanent camp. It was kinda odd because I had only been in prison three weeks and it normally takes four to six weeks to go to your permanent camp. Anyway, I packed my stuff up and waited in my cell for about another 15 minutes until the CO came and got me.

I was led downstairs and got in a line with everybody else who was getting transferred. There were 52 of us in all. We walked to the chow hall and ate breakfast. For some reason, we sat there about 30 minutes. We lined up again and walked to the transfer and receiving part where people go when they first come in. We all sat down and were called one by one to sign some papers. When when everybody was done, we were led to a long hallway with a bench that stretched all the way down the hall.

This part was kinda weird. Just as I was walking out the door to the hallway, a CO grabbed me and asked me if my last name was Braden, and I said yes. He said, “You’re from Pinellas, right?” and I said yes. He said, “I thought that was you. I know your dad.” I still don’t know who he is, so I just kept walking out the door.

After everybody lined up in the hallway, they made everyone roll up their pant legs and kneel on the bench. They shackled us one by one. After we were all shackled, we walked down the hallway to a large garage with no cars – just an empty space with two big doors.

We stood there for about 15 minutes, then all of a sudden, the doors opened and a bunch of buses backed up to the door.

The CO told us which bus we would get on and we lined up in that order. He called us out and everyone got on their bus. It was hard to get up the stairs on the back of the bus because of the shackles. Once we got on the bus, we were moving almost immediately. The bus stopped at the front gate for a moment for the guards to pick up their guns and then we were off.

Transferred to Lancaster

I received an email from the Florida VINE program – a service that notifies victims of inmate transfers, sometimes faster than what’s posted on the DOC site. Anyone can sign up to be notified of the transfers.

Today, Ted was sent to Lancaster Correctional Institution – a state prison in Trenton in Gilchrist County.

I also found that Lancaster’s nine youthful offender dorms are air-conditioned. They supposedly grow their own food there and the food is pretty good. I guess we’ll be hearing all about it soon from Ted.

Comments appear on Prison Talk that Lancaster has gangs, fights and abuse. There are other rumors that some of the correctional officers are members of the KKK, but another parent commented that a full investigation was conducted into those allegations and there’s supposedly no truth to them.

Here are some of the comments about Lancaster from Prison Talk. Each individual post is prefaced by a dash.

- The visiting hours are from 9 a.m. to 3 pm. Morning is not crowded at all.
Attire- I had a no sleeve blouse on which was ok but was told not to wear no sleep shirt, shorts. Dress conservatively.
Check in - I received a visitor number and enter with a hand computer system.
Fenced in/covered outdoor for smokers and indoor. The facility is fairly small but there was enough seating for all of us.

- I have learned nothing about Lancaster. I haven't heard anything from my friend since the transfer (exactly a month ago). Neither have any of his family or friends. It is really scary, and I just wish we knew he was okay. If I find anything out, I will post it here and ask you do the same. I hate Florida. :blah:

- I heard from my son today! He said it was tough there at Lancaster, that the first two weeks is "Phase 1" and it is like boot camp, all they do is p.t. He said they made them run so much and it was so hot that he started vomiting. He did say that they don't get much access to the phone, so that is about all I know. Hope you hear from your friend soon!

- I didn't get to talk to my son today but his fiancee did. He told her that they are only allowed to call on Saturdays and Sundays and have limited ability to mail during Phase 1 which he said is the first 2 weeks. He also told her it is really bad in there, that there are lots of fights!

- Hello out there! My son has been at Lancaster now for over a year. He says it is really bad there. So far he had been able to keep his nose clean but a couple of weeks ago he got 60 days in close confinement for losing his temper. He was angry because everything he owned somehow got put in the showers and got wet, and when the guards told him to face the wall at parade rest, the guards put in the DR that he was threatening them and holding his hands in closed fists while at parade rest. So he ended up with 2 DRs at 30 days each, 1 for verbal threats and the other for insubordination. He says the guards are a real bad bunch and that most everything you hear about the place is true. Right down to the knotted key chains the guards wear, but keep out of sight at visitation. They have some very crazy rules there like if an inmate is on the sidewalk and a guard comes along, the inmate must step off the sidewalk and stop at parade rest until the guard passes. Tell your sons that while they are new there the guards will intimidate them very bad, trying to make snitches out of them. My son was hit with walkie talkies, and burned with a cigarette lighter while trying to make him talk about something he said he knew nothing about. Consequently, I worry every single day because he told me that before he will let a guard touch him that way again "when being questioned", he will go off on them and probably end up with more charges or really get hurt. At this point I wish the DOC would just move him again. I wish you ladies luck and any time you would like to talk just let me know.

- visited my son at Lancaster last weekend for the first time. It wasn't so bad, the guards were cordial and not very strict during visitation. One female guard was actually NICE to us (that was a first.) My son says it isn't great there, but it is 100 times better than the reception center. He says there is one bad guard there that is constantly writing up the inmates for things they didn't even do, I have his name but I'm not sure who to contact about it without my son getting backlash from it.

- My son said there is a rumor that some of the guards are KKK and these key chains represent their membership! However, he said when you ask any of them about the keychain, they all say it represents their favorite football team; he said they say the exact same thing - word for word - like they are told what to say. But apparently the key chains are all different colors...so they can't represent a football team. Its almost like the color has some correlation to ranking or something. Has anyone else heard this?

- That is EXACTLY what I've heard, not from my friend directly, but through the grapevine. The color and the number of knots supposedly means something like ranking, and I've heard the KKK mentioned specifically. There is a website that talks about this and is where I heard it all from, I'll try to post the link here. It is really disturbing stuff. It may or may not be reliable, but with your son mentioning the same thing from inside and you actually seeing these keychains!?! I'm glad your visit went well and your son seems happier there. Maybe it's not as bad as I've feared.

- My son who spent four months at Lancaster in the fall of 2005 said that it was tough (PT especially, they use a boot camp constant PT have to memorize rules approach that is designed to increase compliance and comraderie among the inmates), that there are times when everyone gets in trouble when only specific people should, that in some blocks there is intimidation among the inmates, and there is one guard who is generally disliked by all inmates because he abuses power. The keychain issue is a very old one that was thoroughly vetted by the Inspector General including charges against guards and transfers several years back. If they wear them today (and I looked for them and never say them) they are probably just funning with the inmates. Having said that, this is rural northern florida, after all. Pretty much the only people of color many of the staff know are the other staff members and inmates who are people of color. It is easy to understand how both they and the inmates would feel misunderstood when something goes down. (BTW, when my son reported inappropriate behavior, I spoke with the warden and followed it up in writing ---advice: always complain in writing so that you can have a paper trail.) He remained very scared of retaliation, but couldn't actually describe anything that persuaded me it was retaliatory.

Out of the box

For the last three weeks, I’ve been in the box, but then last Friday they transferred me to the Central Florida Reception Center (CFRC) in Orlando.

From what I understand, I’ll be going back to Lake Butler, then to another main camp from there.

Why do they keep moving me you ask? Who knows.

Honestly, I don’t think the warden liked the fact that I write about my experiences. That’s my only guess.

Other than that, I never said anything or did anything worthy of getting transferred.

Oh well, I guess no matter where I go, I’ll still be in prison. So it doesn’t really matter.

Well, wish me good luck wherever I go.

My new room

Now I’ve been in the box for two weeks.

Since I first came in here, I’ve had my room changed twice.

The first two rooms were okay, but now they’ve got me in a room I can’t stand. I have two roommates that are always loud. Day and night.

I never can get a decent night’s rest. Well, I can never sleep well being in prison, but now it’s worse.

On top of all that, the CO refuses to move me unless I try and kill myself, and I definitely don’t want to do that. [Whatttt????]

So for now all I can do is sit and put up with my roommates' immature ways.

I know that no matter where I am or where I go, God is always with me.

The Box

So far I’ve sent Ted 11 books – including a $50 Bible – and he hasn’t received ANY of them.

I’ve been here at Brevard C.I. for two weeks now and I’ve gotten a few letters from family and friends asking what the compound is like.

I can’t tell them.

I was only on the compound for two days and for those two days, I spent them in my dorm.

The rest of the time I spent in a cell which they call ‘The Box’. All I can tell my family is what shade of white the walls are and how many bricks are on the walls. Other than that, they probably know more about this place than me. (Oh yea, please nobody send me info about this place. I don’t need any attempted escape charges.)

Being in this cell 24 hours a day – never coming out – gives being bored a whole new meaning. I keep going from one side of the cell to another every couple of hours just for a little change of scenery.

I have nothing to do all day except talk to my roommate. We talked so much though, that we literally ran out of things to say. We told each other our life stories in a matter of days.

I hope I can go back on the compound soon.

Florida DOC considers releasing 5,000 prisoners

November 13, 2009 - WJHG, Channel 7, Panama City Beach

A plan to release 5,000 prisoners to help make up for a projected 2.6 billion dollar budget shortfall is being discussed by lawmakers. The plan arose after the Florida Department of Corrections was asked to draft a budget with 10 percent fewer dollars.

The likelihood of prisoners being released is low, but finding money to keep them locked up could lead to more [correctional officer] layoffs.

Tonight in Florida 100,000 people will go to sleep in a state prison cell. But a 2.6 billion dollar budget shortfall could mean a get-out-of-jail-free card for 5,000 inmates. The proposal comes as Florida’s Department of Corrections looks for ways to cut 224 million dollars from its budget.

Granting early release to prisoners who served 85 percent of their sentences would be the biggest money saver. The state could save 117 million dollars by letting those prisoners out 90 days early.

Full story

FL's youthful offender prisons: The KKK, starvation and abuse?

Ted wrote me that he thought he would be transferred to Lake City or Lancaster. Both happen to be camps for Youthful Offenders and both are in North Florida.

Ted wasn’t sentenced as a Youthful Offender. He was sentenced as an adult.

When I called the CFRC to find out why he was in with YOs, they told me it was because of his age and size – not for any other reason. (Ted is 5'11" and was 119 lbs. about four weeks ago, even though the DOC site says he's 5'8".)

Lancaster supposedly has better food, but Lake City has air-conditioning.

There are old rumors that the guards at Lancaster are part of the KKK and in the past, there have been abuse issues. Some recent comments about Lake City talk about some of the kids being starved for two or three weeks.

I think Ted will be sent to Lake City. It is privately run. So if Ted writes about the conditions there, it won’t make the state-run prison system look bad.

Florida Youthful Offender statistics

Passing time

It's amazing some of the things you come up with when you're locked in a cell all day.

The last room I was in had a chess board made out of toothpaste - so my roommate and I made checker pieces.

After we played checkers over 1,000 times, we made dice out of wet toilet paper. That got real boring real quick though.

We got so bored that we actually took two Styrofoam cups, ran a string from one to the other and made an elementary walkie talkie. Haha! I know it's stupid, but we were bored.

We even played tic-tac-toe and hangman - at least when we had a pen to use.

The COs only pass out pens for an hour every three or four days.

The last thing we made is a deck of cards out of regular writing paper. They're garbage, but they'll do. We just need them to pass time.

Canteen balances and calls from prison

I called the CFRC - Main today. I found out some very useful information.

For Florida prison canteen account balances:

If you call 866-209-7250, you can find out an inmate's canteen trust account balance. That number is for the Tallahassee bank that handles all Florida prisons' canteen (commissary) accounts. Inmates will receive the money no matter where they go in the Florida prison system.

To access the account balance, call 866-209-7250. Press 1, enter the inmate's DC number, if the number was entered correctly, Press 1. The balance will then be announced.

Cons Call Home cannot be used anywhere in Florida. Cons Call Home is much cheaper than other services. Figures it can't be used here. That would be too convenient.

To set up your home phone to be able to receive phone calls from a Florida inmate:

Call Correction Billing Services at 800-844-6591.

My phone service is Bright House. A Bright House representative told me I was unable to receive collect calls from a prison. While this is technically accurate, he neglected to tell me that there is a way to enable my phone to receive a call from an inmate.

According to the automated system on Correction Billing Services, you can pay for collect calls in one of several ways: Western Union, credit card, direct billing through the phone company (for an additional fee) or direct billing through Correction Billing Services (via a credit check, but no additional fee). You can only receive collect calls from a prison on a home phone. (No cell phones allowed.)

Once you select a payment option and the service is activiated, the collect calls will be enabled within 24 hours.

Youthful Offenders

Today I received three letters from Ted – 22 pages in all! (When it rains, it pours!) Two letters were from Lake Butler, where Ted was before Brevard. One letter was from the CFRC in Orlando, where Ted was after Brevard.

I also received another one of my letters back that I mailed to Ted. That is the third letter so far that was returned to me. When I mail letters, I usually include 10 pieces of paper, 10 envelopes and a book of stamps – and it costs $4.95 for postage per letter. This particular letter was returned because “Mail establishes or conducts business”. I’m assuming that the “business conducted” was me telling Ted that ABC News was interested in interviewing him and he needed to sign a consent form. So far, that’s $14.85 in postage down the drain. Actually, it’s double that – I re-mailed the previous two letters and will have to send this one out again – minus any mention of “business,” that is.

When I went to court to be sentenced, I was not sentenced as a Youthful Offender. I was sentenced to Straight DOC [Department of Corrections].

Now for some reason, I’m in with all the YOs.

YOs are still at the same prisons as everybody else – it’s just that they are in a different dorm.

I would much rather be with the adults, because the YOs act like little kids. Plus they have to march everywhere they go. It gets real old, real fast.

Musings

There wasn’t any mail delivery on Wednesday because of the holiday. Hopefully a letter from Ted will arrive today. I might plant a lawn chair down there by my mailbox.

I called my phone company, Bright House, yesterday. It turns out Bright House does not allow collect calls from prisons. Sure wish I found that out sooner! Ted probably did try to call, but couldn’t get through.

Bright House recommended a pre-paid phone service, Global Tel Link, which services all Florida prisons. I know this service is quite expensive. When Ted was at the Pinellas County Jail, $25 on Global Tel Link funded approximately two 20-minute calls. I found another site online – ConsCallHome.com. I’ll call the CFRC in the morning to see if they use that service. Cons Call Home costs about $25 for 300 minutes.

Another parent emailed me. Her son knew of Brevard and said it was good that Ted was out of there. He said it is widely known what a rat hole that place is and that the guards encouraged fighting and even bet on who the winner would be. Supposedly there is a glass jar there with gold teeth in it that have been knocked out of the prisoners when they fight, he said. I wonder if anyone else has heard that rumor. I wasn’t able to find any mention of it on the Internet.

The mission statement of the Florida Department of Corrections is “To protect the public safety, to ensure the safety of Department personnel, and to provide proper care and supervision of all offenders under our jurisdiction while assisting, as appropriate, their re-entry into society.” I wonder if there is an agency that checks to see if proper care of offenders is being cared out appropriately. There’re plenty of data reports on sentencing, recidivism and such, but are spontaneous spot checks performed to see if abuse is taking place in Florida’s correctional facilities? Are spontaneous spot checks even possible? It seems that the guards would be on the phone immediately to everyone else to let them know someone had arrived to check up on things. Maybe the solution is to install web cams in the prisons!

I still have no idea what happened in the incident in which Ted went to the box at Brevard. It is interesting that he was moved out of there though. The warden had called him into her office and told him she was aware of the blog and to tell me to be careful of what I write in my letters – or his time could possibly be doubled. I had sent him a blank greeting card and suggested that he could sell or trade it. The warden had Ted write to tell me that selling or trading items was prohibited. How I was to know that, I don’t know. Prison rules are not made available to the public on the Internet. I guess I need to hone my ESP.

Incidentally, prison visitation forms are also no longer available on the Internet. Family members must call each prison for a visitation form, wait a week or two for them to arrive in the mail, mail them back and wait three or more weeks for the approval. If visitation forms were available on the Internet, they could be sent to the prison as soon as the inmate arrived and cut several weeks off the wait time.

Someone else also emailed, "There should be a study, maybe there is already - if people go to bad prisons, [with] bad guards, is that an incentive to stay out of prison, or does that make them worse? Like in Texas, that one sheriff who puts guys in tents, makes them wear pink underwear, eat bad food, what is that area's return rate compared to others." Hmmm. Good idea.

I’m wondering if Ted was transferred because there are those who didn’t want certain things about the prison to be publicized. What is happening to those people in Brevard who have no one to look out for their interests? I could be totally off-base though. Maybe he really was transferred strictly to protect his safety. If that’s the case, I’m grateful. When you haven’t heard anything from your loved one at all, you start to imagine all kinds of scenarios.

Next: Continuation of Ted’s family history – A family crisis

The family foundation cracks

In early 1993, my husband and I moved with Teddy to a nice apartment three miles away from my grandparents’ house. We still were at their house for several hours every day.

The apartment had gorgeous views – a beautiful mountain out the front and green woods with a gentle stream out the sliding glass door in back.

That’s where I received that phone call from my mother in April 1993 – “I think your father shot himself.” And that’s where I received a similar phone call seven months later. My grandfather called. I was in the bathtub at the time and didn’t answer the phone the first time. A few minutes later, the phone rang again. I got out of the tub to answer. “I think your grandmother had a heart attack,” he told me.

I threw my clothes on, and we all ran out to the car. Within minutes, we arrived at the house. An ambulance was parked outside. Teddy watched as the EMTs frantically work on his beloved great-grandmother. I felt like a knife had been driven into my chest.

My grandparents were almost always with Teddy. Just like they did with me when I was small, they took naps with him, watched TV with him. Teddy helped his Papa in his workshop. He sat in my grandmother’s lap while she cooked and helped her chop vegetables. He called her Ba.

My grandmother was my best friend – the person I was closest to in the whole world. She was the cornerstone of all of our lives.

Her death devastated all of us. And Teddy was four.

Photos: Ba, Papa with Teddy, Papa and Ba
Next: A family crisis

A terrible year

I called the CFRC in Orlando today. They said Ted will be definitely be moved to another facility. They could not tell me when or where, as it was confidential.

No visitations are allowed at the CFRC. A visitation form has to be filled out for each prison. It takes about three weeks for each prison to process the completed application. Although I submitted visitation forms to Brevard C.I., I will have to start the process all over again when he reaches his new destination.

Supposedly, he was able to take my letters, his books that I sent him, paper, envelopes and stamps with him to his new cell. The officer told me they did not go into property. Yet, I’m still waiting on a letter from Ted. A phone call would be even better.

1993 was not a good year. Two horribly traumatic things happened.

One day, I received a phone call from my mother in Florida. “I think your father shot himself,” she said. What she said did not compute. My step-father had always been a deacon or elder in a church. Very religious. Very strict. That day is a bit of a blur, but my family ended up boarding a plane for Florida – not knowing if my step-father was alive or dead.

My mother and step-father had always been teachers. As I mentioned before, they eventually started their own small Christian school in CT. But when my step-father finished his PhD in 1984, he accepted a job in Clearwater, FL as the head of the Education department at a Christian college. It was his dream job.

In 1985, my mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Two years later, she walked with a cane at my wedding.

Around 1990, a new President took over at the college. He got rid of a number of established professors to bring in his own associates from Bob Jones University. My step-father was one of the ones let go, even though he had graduated from Bob Jones University as well.

The economy back then was similar to today’s economy. My step-father could not find a job – he was over-qualified. They lived on credit cards for a year or so. My step-father eventually bought a truck – similar to a Snap-On Tool truck – and sold auto parts to repair shops and gas stations around Tampa Bay.

Ironically, he also had a part-time job teaching a GED class at the Pinellas County Jail – where Teddy would end up 16 years later.

My step-father was not a businessman. He found himself in debt to the IRS. My mother was sick and getting worse. He had suffered from depression for 25 years and took medication for it. A doctor in Clearwater refilled his medicine by phone – without seeing him in person at all. It was later discovered that my step-father was taking over five times the recommended amount of medication a person should take.

By 1993, my mother’s MS had progressed to the point where to had to ride an electric scooter around the house. She was able to get out of bed, into the scooter and into an armchair. They both went to church three times a week – and ate out with a large group of friends after church every Sunday.

On April 29th, 1993, my step-father went into his work truck parked in front of the house, wrote five long suicide letters and shot himself in the head. He died instantly.

My mother heard something, rode her scooter outside, but was unable to get into the truck to see if he was alright. A neighbor found him.

My husband and I flew to Florida with 3-year-old Teddy to arrange the funeral and put his affairs in order. The funeral was very traumatic. Teddy stayed with his paternal grandmother. I sat in the front row and cried so hard as I stared at my step-father’s face – at the huge patched-up hole.

We stayed in Florida for several weeks. Interestingly enough, the church community fell away. Sure, a few church friends and a small number of professors from the Christian college attended the funeral, but only one or two so-called close friends visited my mother a couple of times afterward – and then disappeared entirely. Only one elderly woman remained in contact throughout the years.

This affected my views on organized religion, although I never lost my faith in God. Ted said it best – “The bad times show you who your good friends are.”

My mother did end up winning a medical malpractice suit against the doctor.

Next: Ted witnesses another traumatic event
Photo: My step-father, Dr. Walter Hatten, in front of his truck

More family history

It seems my entire day revolves around waiting for the mail to arrive to see if a letter has come from Ted. Hopefully one will come today. I feel like I’ve aged 10 years in the last two months.

Ted’s father, Bill, and I got married in Florida in July 1987. Six months later, we went to Connecticut to live with my maternal grandparents when my 39-year-old aunt (who was blind and 90% deaf) died of a heart attack. My grandfather had built their large house himself in a well-to-do neighborhood in Bloomfield.

Ted was born in Hartford Hospital in June 1989.

From day one, Ted was showered with love and attention. Someone was always holding him.

A few weeks after he was born, the doctor discovered he was allergic to milk. He spit up everything he ate. He had basically been starving. Once he was switched to soy formula he was fine.

Ted loved toy cars. He would sit in his high chair for hours pushing Matchbox cars back and forth, making brrrmmm, brrmmm noises.

When he was two, we bought him his first electric car, a small red convertible. He also had a Little Tikes plastic pedal car and a pedal bulldozer. He would zoom all over the large yard as fast as he could go. He also sat in my grandfather’s lap when he mowed the lawn on a riding lawnmower and drove with him in a golf cart.

My grandparents both had large electric scooters. We would load both of them into a van and go to the local mall to sometimes eat at the food court. My grandmother rode her scooter at top speed, practically mowing down mall visitors in her path. Ted, of course, was perched on her lap. My grandfather followed behind at a more leisurely pace, with Bill and I walking behind. I’m sure this is where Ted got his love of fast cars.

Ted also constantly had a pacifier in his mouth. He wouldn’t give it up and used one until he was four years old.

I can’t help but wonder if all of the comforting contributed to him looking for replacements in alcohol and drugs as he got older.

Photos: Ted in his electric and pedal cars.

Next: Another family tragedy

Sent back to Orlando

I saw on the Florida Department of Corrections web site that Ted has been moved back to the Central Florida Reception Center in Orlando on either Friday or Saturday.

I still don't know the details that got him sent to the box at Brevard C.I., but in his last letter almost two weeks ago, Ted mention it was possible he could be transferred.

I will call the CFRC on Monday to find out if he will be staying there permanently or transferred to yet another camp.

Use Google Earth to enter the CFRC's address (7000 H C Kelley Road, Orlando, FL) to zoom in on a satellite image of the reception center.

A bit of family history

Again, no letter arrived from Ted. I’m beginning to wonder if Ted is safe, or at the very least, receiving my letters, stamps, paper and envelopes.

One person left a comment on the blog asking where Ted’s parents were.

Drugs, crime and gang involvement cross all social, economic, and racial barriers. Drug problems happen to rich families, as well as the middle and lower classes. It happens in all religions. All races. All education levels. All family situations – whole families and divorced families. It even happens to children of pastors.

I have been asked if one particular thing or combination of events may have contributed to where Ted ended up.

I think it was a combination of circumstances and tragic events in our family. Possibly even television, violent video games and Internet access all might have been contributing factors.

I’ll try to tell Ted’s story as honestly as I can - as painful as it may be - starting with a little of his parent’s history.

My father was a second lieutenant in the Air Force and died while on active duty at age 25 when I was five months old. My mother received a small military pension for both of us. She remarried when I was almost five.

My mother and step-father were very strict Baptists. They eventually started their own Christian school and my step-father later became a professor at a Christian college after completing his PhD in 1984. My mother obtained her Master’s degree in Early Childhood Education in 1973.

I was an only child (like Ted) and my upbringing was very restricted. I was not allowed to go to movies – not even Disney films. No secular music. No dancing. No playing cards (the devil’s game). After a certain age, I was not allowed to wear shorts and after age 13, I wasn’t allowed to leave my yard. And there was definitely no drinking or drugs allowed.

At age 15, I attended my parents’ Christian school. It had 50 students from kindergarten to grade 12. You could work at your own pace and I graduated at age 16. I was the only graduate that year. I started college right away. After five years, I graduated. Twelve years later, I also got my Master’s degree in Business.

Ted’s father, Bill, was the second of six boys. His father worked nights and the boys had to keep quiet during the day so their father could sleep. The boys were also not allowed out of their yard and played together in a fenced-in back yard when they were growing up. Bill joined the navy out of high school and went to work as a salesman after his discharge. He was very successful and broke many sales records.

Neither of us came from wealthy families. Rather, we both came from a middle class background.

Perhaps it was because I felt so strangled growing up that I was eventually not as strict with Ted. If I had known where he would end up, I would have done things differently. Hind-sight is unfortunately 20-20.

Photo: Ted's parents at EPCOT in 1986, when they were engaged.

Signs that your child may be in a gang

Again, no letter arrived from Ted today. While this is strictly Ted’s blog, I will post some background information about him until a letter comes.

Ted first started wearing red bandanas when he was around 12. Making no excuses for my ignorance, I didn’t think there were serious gangs in Tampa Bay. I would have conceded that there were gangs, but I thought they were just groups of kids dressing like cool characters they saw in the movies – play-acting at being Mafia mobsters.

I wish someone had told me the truth back then – gangs are a serious matter no matter where they are or how young they are. The dangers of gangs and signs of possible gang involvement need to be made widely available to all parents.

When Ted was younger – possibly around 13 or 14, I went away on a business trip and he stayed with his father in St. Pete. His dad dropped him off at Baywalk in St. Pete to see a movie. Ted called me up in a panic to say he had witnessed a shooting. He never opened up about the details, but I’m going to write and ask him more about that incident. I’m sure it involved a gang.

As Ted grew older, I never much thought about it, but his whole wardrobe started to gravitate toward certain colors – red, black and white. I took him on a trip to Alaska and he didn’t have a rain jacket. I went to buy him one and he was upset that they only ones that were for sale were blue. Again, I didn’t put two and two together. I just thought his favorite colors were red and black.

He bought ball caps and wore long chains with large crosses or dollar signs. I thought it was a phase. When he was very little, Ted liked to dress up in costumes: a police man, a fire man. A large photo of him in his fireman outfit appeared in the Hartford Courant when he was four years old. The hats, chains and baggy pants were another form of role-playing, I thought.

See this blog entry for why gang involvement is so dangerous: Gangs in Tampa Bay

The following information came from the Redwood City, California police web site. It’s a clear, concise list of signs that your child may be in a gang. None of these are sure signs of gang involvement.

Gang members share a name; form of identification (e.g., clothing, colors), "turf" or territory, and code talk (e.g., hand signs, graffiti, slang).

Street Talk
Gangs use a mixture of English and street slang. These words are meant to be difficult for "outsiders" to understand.

Hand Signals
Each gang has its own set.

Graffiti
Gangs use graffiti to mark or "tag" their territory. They also often mark their belongings.

Clothing Styles
All members may wear the same style of clothing or may wear all accessories on either the right or left side, including hats, jewelry, shoelaces, gloves, belt buckles, and so on.

Colors
Clothing may be all in one or two colors. The colors also appear on hair ornaments, nail polish, and belongings.

Symbols
The signs in the gang's graffiti may also appear on their belongings, skin (tattoos), and may be cut into their hair.

Photo: Ted, unhappy wearing his blue jacket.

Problems with the mail at Brevard?

There’s still no letter from Ted.

Apparently other people also have problems receiving mail from their relatives at Brevard, according to Prison Talk.

I’ve heard from more than one source that Brevard C.I. is the worst place you can be sent to in Florida. Fights break out every day.

One person wrote on Prison Talk:

I was lucky to get my son out of there. If your loved one is in Brevard, keep very close tabs on them! If you don't hear from them, call and find out why. They could be in confinement. They are supposed to be able to write but that is not always the case. You have to let people there know someone is watching them...someone is interested in the welfare of that inmate and is keeping up with what is going on with him. The problem isn't "fights". Unless you call getting attacked by four gang members, who are armed, a fight. It's not fights. It's beatings and horrible injuries. Not to try to scare you but just to let you know very serious injuries are coming to RMC from Brevard...very serious.

Another wrote:

Well when he first gets there he will go through orientation. He will be fine there. That usually lasts about a week. Then once he gets into general population it gets tough....at least for the first few weeks. From what I have been told is he will have to fight. There are alot of gangs in there, he should just stay to himself.

Its tough in there for my boyfriend. I havent had any problems with the guards but inside there they are tough on them. But from what my boyfriend says the gangs run the prison. The gangs pay the guards money to basically turn there back on certain things. There isnt alot of cameras in there so there is alot of fights.

A mom added:

My son was attacked and robbed - within minutes of arriving in his cell - by four guys who were armed. Try your best to get him transferred to another facility.

Gangs in Tampa Bay

Still waiting on a letter from Ted. Not sure if my letters are getting to him or if his letters are getting out to me. His last letter contained only two blog entries, so the prison may be confiscating some of the pages.

I recently found out stuff about gangs in Tampa Bay that I never knew – from another source, not from Ted.

About how gangs go to middle schools to recruit kids that are 8 or 9 years old. This is in Clearwater, Dunedin, St. Petersburg, Tampa…right here where we live. Clearwater Beach is a big area for gang activity. Gang leaders come all the way from NY and California to recruit high school students here. Gangs are in rural areas too. Not just in cities.

Someone told me about one young boy who got jumped walking home from middle school by a bunch of kids. He wasn’t safe until he joined a gang.

Gangs aren’t just cute social clubs, where kids wear colored bandanas to look cool. They force you into illegal activities. Selling drugs. Burglary. Vandalism. Members go to parties where they pull out guns regularly. Kids get stabbed. Shot.

Ted said he joined a gang so long ago ‘he didn’t remember how old he was, but he was really young.’ At first I thought it was around age 12, as that’s the first time I saw him wearing a red bandana. But now I realize it was much younger – probably about 9 or 10.

Ted went to a Christian school right up through 8th grade. He wasn’t even safe there.

I asked my source what danger Ted faced when he got out. After all, he appeared on the front page of the Floridian section of the St. Pete Times wearing a red bandana and throwing up a Blood sign. The source said Ted was brave for having that picture on the front page of the paper.

Once you’re in a gang, you never leave. You may get jumped out, but you still have an association with them. But they use you. They’re never there to visit you in jail or prison and they sure won’t put money in your commissary account.

Younger kids look up to their older relatives and copy what they do. Stay out of gangs. If not for yourself, for your little brother or sister.

Photo: Ted at age 12 wearing a red bandana on a trip out West.

O'Henry

I'm still waiting on the next letter from Ted. In the meantime...

A previous blog entry mentioned that many famous writers have spent time in prison: Jack London, O’Henry, Boethius, Cervantes, Campanella, Daniel Defoe, Thomas More, Walter Raleigh, Leigh Hunt, Oscar Wilde, Maxim Gorky, Chernyeshevsky, Dostoyevsky, Solzhenitsyn, Francois Villon, Voltaire, Diderot, The Marquis de Sade, Jean Genet, Saint Paul, Malcolm X.

Many of them wrote books IN prison.

O’Henry is famous for writing stories that have surprise endings, known as “O’Henry endings”. Wikipedia notes that O. Henry's short stories are well known for their wit, wordplay, warm characterization and clever twist endings.

Here’s a summary of one of his most famous stories called Gift of the Magi:

“Jim Young and his wife Della are a young couple who are very much in love with each other, but can barely afford their one-room apartment due to their very bad economic situation. For Christmas, Della decides to buy Jim a chain which costs twenty-one dollars for his prized pocket watch given to him by his father. To raise the funds, she has her long hair cut off and sold to make a wig. Meanwhile, Jim decides to sell his watch to buy Della a beautiful set of combs made out of tortoise shell for her lovely, knee-length brown hair. Although each is disappointed to find the gift they chose rendered useless, each is pleased with the gift they received, because it represents their love for one another.”

O’Henry was the pen name of William Sydney Porter. Porter and his family moved to Houston in 1895, where he started writing for the Post. His salary was only $25 a month, but it rose steadily as his popularity increased. Porter gathered ideas for his column by hanging out in hotel lobbies and observing and talking to people there. This was a technique he used throughout his writing career. While he was in Houston, the First National Bank of Austin was audited and the federal auditors found several discrepancies. They managed to get a federal indictment against Porter. Porter was subsequently arrested on charges of embezzlement, charges which he denied, in connection with his employment at the bank.

Porter's father-in-law posted bail to keep Porter out of jail, but the day before Porter was due to stand trial on July 7, 1896, he fled, first to New Orleans and later to Honduras. While holed up in a Tegucigalpa hotel for several months, he wrote Cabbages and Kings, in which he coined the term "banana republic" to describe the country, subsequently used to describe almost any small, unstable tropical nation in Latin America. Porter had sent Athol (his wife) and Margaret (his daughter) back to Austin to live with Athol's parents. Unfortunately, Athol became too ill to meet Porter in Honduras as Porter planned. When he learned that his wife was dying, Porter returned to Austin in February 1897 and surrendered to the court, pending an appeal. Once again, Porter's father-in-law posted bail so Porter could stay with Athol and Margaret.

Athol Estes Porter died on July 25, 1897 from tuberculosis (then known as consumption). Porter, having little to say in his own defense, was found guilty of embezzlement in February 1898, sentenced to five years jail, and imprisoned on March 25, 1898, as federal prisoner 30664 at the Ohio Penitentiary in Columbus, Ohio.

While in prison, Porter, as a licensed pharmacist, worked in the prison hospital as the night druggist. Porter was given his own room in the hospital wing, and there is no record that he actually spent time in the cell block of the prison.

He had fourteen stories published under various pseudonyms while he was in prison, but was becoming best known as "O. Henry", a pseudonym that first appeared over the story "Whistling Dick's Christmas Stocking" in the December 1899 issue of McClure's Magazine. A friend of his in New Orleans would forward his stories to publishers, so they had no idea the writer was imprisoned.

Porter was released on July 24, 1901, for good behavior after serving three years. Porter reunited with his daughter Margaret, now age 11, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where Athol's parents had moved after Porter's conviction. Margaret was never told that her father had been in prison - just that he had been away on business.

This information and photo were taken from Wikipedia.

Surviving in prison

Over the last year, a lot of different people have given me advice about how to survive in prison. They’ll say don’t do this, but make sure you always …, but really, there’s nothing you can do to prevent trouble.

My best advice to survive prison doesn’t start when you get to prison, but when you’re out on the street.

If you’re out there – do whatever you want to do – no matter what anyone says. Just know that one day you’ll go to prison. That’s a guarantee. It will happen sooner or later.

So while you’re out there, take some boxing lessons and make sure you know how to fight because when you come to prison, you’ll be doing a lot of it whether you want to or not.

A time will come when you have to defend yourself and nobody is going to be there to help you.

Other than that, stay in the Bible and pray. God will always answer your prayer – no matter if he answers them the way you want or not.

Last thing – if you feel your enemy is too great – read Psalms 59. It helped me a lot.

Prison Survival Manual

Psalm 59
Deliver me from my enemies, O God;
protect me from those who rise up against me.
Deliver me from evildoers
and save me from bloodthirsty men.
See how they lie in wait for me!
Fierce men conspire against me
for no offense or sin of mine, O LORD.
I have done no wrong, yet they are ready to attack me.
Arise to help me; look on my plight!
O LORD God Almighty, the God of Israel,
rouse yourself to punish all the nations;
show no mercy to wicked traitors.
Selah
They return at evening,
snarling like dogs,
and prowl about the city.
See what they spew from their mouths—
they spew out swords from their lips,
and they say, "Who can hear us?"
But you, O LORD, laugh at them;
you scoff at all those nations.
O my Strength, I watch for you;
you, O God, are my fortress,
my loving God.
God will go before me
and will let me gloat over those who slander me.
But do not kill them, O Lord our shield, [b]
or my people will forget.
In your might make them wander about,
and bring them down.
For the sins of their mouths,
for the words of their lips,
let them be caught in their pride.
For the curses and lies they utter,
consume them in wrath,
consume them till they are no more.
Then it will be known to the ends of the earth
that God rules over Jacob.
Selah
They return at evening,
snarling like dogs,
and prowl about the city.
They wander about for food
and howl if not satisfied.
But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
my refuge in times of trouble.
O my Strength, I sing praise to you;
you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.

Prison gadgets

Being in prison, you will come across some of the craziest homemade gadgets that you’d never in a million years think of making or could make.

A lot of things I’ve never seen, but heard plenty of stories about. But some of the things I have seen are:

- Tattoo guns made out of electric razors and other electronic devices

- Ashtrays made with bars of soap

- A thing which people use to cut hair – made out of a comb and razor (people do that so they don’t have to get all their hair cut off at the barber)

- Fishing line which is a long piece of string with a weight attached to the end and it’s used to slide normal contraband from one cell to another.

- Speakers – which is really just a cone made out of paper with radio headphone inside (the cone amplifies the sound).

People also light cigarettes off the overhead light in their cell or from two batteries, a lock and a razor blade.

I’ve seen chess pieces made out of paper mache, and the last thing I’ve seen is a screwdriver made out of rubber cement and something else. There’s probably more I can’t think of!

For more prison inventions, check out WebUrbanist.

Gangs on compound

OK, I know I only spent a little bit of time on the compound before coming to the box, but in that little time I got a good picture of how things are here. At least I think I do.

This compound is run by gangs. I've been in a gang for a long time, but I've never seen anything like this.

You've got Bloods, Crips, Folks, MS13, Latin Kings, Zoe and a few others. In my opinion though, there's no real Zoe's here, but whatever.

Anyway, from what I can see, Bloods run the compound for the most part.

Also the gangs here are pretty well organized. I haven't really seen anything to make me think that, but I can see it when I talk to people in gangs about gangs.

Other than that, I'm still scoping things out, but it's kinda hard - being in the box and all.

Being transferred

Before I was transferred here to Brevard, I spent exactly three weeks at Lake Butler. I didn't even think I'd be leaving for at least another week or two. Out of nowhere at 3 a.m., the CO came and woke me up and told me I was being transferred.

I got dressed and packed my stuff. Then after waiting 20 minutes, the CO opened my cell and I went downstairs to eat breakfast. After that, I was led to the transfer and receiving room to sign papers and get a nice pair of ankle bracelets called shackles.

I was led to a big white bus. I got on. I thought I was going to my main camp, but it turns out they were just bringing me to the Central Florida Reception Center (C.F.R.C.) in Orlando.

I only spent two days there until I was transferred again, but this time I was going to my main camp: Brevard Correctional Institution.

Photo: Central Florida Reception Center, Orlando

Showering in the box

One thing about being in the box is you never get to leave your room, except to go to the shower.

Even when you go to the shower, you have to be escorted there in handcuffs.

The shower is like a big cell with a metal door. Once you’re in the shower, the door is shut and locked behind you. Then they open a little flap that you stick your hands out and they uncuff you.

I’m probably locked in there for about 20 minutes, so at least I get to take a long shower.

After my shower, I turn around with my back facing the door and stick my hands out the door. I’m handcuffed again, then led back to my room where I don’t get to do anything but count the hairs on my legs.

Going to the box

The cobwebs finally cleared from the mailbox!

I'm no longer at Lake Butler. I'm currently being held at Brevard Correctional Institution in Cocoa, FL.

After only two days of being here, I ended up in the box. I didn't get in any trouble, but I can't really talk about why I'm in here until I get out. All I can say is there was 6 - 7 people that wanted to jump me pretty much because I'm white. It's not that I was scared or anything, it's just that I refuse to get sucked back into gangs or violence.

After ending up in the box, though, I regret coming here. There's nothing to do all day, and there's no telling how long I'm going to be here.

I can still buy canteen, get mail, send mail, and receive books at least. Other than that, I'm stuck looking at the same four walls.

I'm in a two-man cell again, except this time I'm the 3rd person in the room, so I have to sleep on the floor. It's so over-crowded. This dorm only holds 80 people, but they got 116 people crammed in here.

Anyway, hopefully I will get out of the box in about three weeks. I hope.

Photo: solitary confinement cells in a CA prison

Last letter from Orlando reception center

October 14th

Mom,

I’m going to make this quick. Last night I wrote you a five-page letter. I’m not going to send it out yet because I was transferred to Orlando reception center and I only have one envelope left.

Like I said, they transferred me to Orlando. They tell me I’ll only be here ‘til Friday so don’t bother writing me here. Also Sunday night, I sent you five blogs then four more Tuesday night. Let me know if you get all of them. Also put money on my account the second you get this letter. If you put money on my account Friday or before, put like an extra $10 on Saturday or Sunday because it takes two weeks to get my money from one camp to another.

Tonight is Wednesday. I’ll leave on Friday, but make sure on the computer. I already know you will.

Well oh yea, in that other letter I answered every question in your letter. I’ll send it out when I get an envelope. I know stamps are expensive, but I may need more also. I’m OK for now. I’ve got about 10 left.

Love you lots. Pray for me.

Your favorite son, Teddy

P.S. I would send the other letter out with this one, but I don’t know if this will make it to you because the envelope is a little messed up.

This was the last communication I received from Ted besides the list of commissary items he sent. I never did get the other letter. I sent him 30 more envelopes, sheets of paper and three books of stamps right after I received this on 10/17.

Justin Polk

October 12, 2009

My name is Justin Polk – they call me J.P.

I’m currently incarcerated at Lake Butler, RMC – Main Unit.

My bunkie is Teddy. We are always bored. There is nothing to do in prison.

I regret the mistake I made. My charge is violation of probation/burglary to a dwelling. So the next two years of my life will be spent behind bars.

I used to live the fast life selling drugs, hitting up dope boys. So my advice for anybody breaking the law is to stop before you end up here.

These COs here have slapped me around for disobeying orders. They will beat you up and throw you in the box for about 90 days so nobody will see you.

Well if there’s any females reading this, write me. It’s boring in here. And I’m from Jacksonville, Duval County, 20 years old.

Note: Justin has since been transferred to Jackson C.I. His address is:

Polk, Justin, DC #J37665
Jackson C.I.
5563 10th Street, Malone, Florida 32445-3144

Daydreaming

This entry was also written before Ted left Lake Butler on October 16th.

You would think that because I’m in a cell with nothing to do that I’d be thinking of 100 different things to write about. Well that’s not true.

Me being in a cell gives me pretty much nothing to write about.

I could write about how me and my cellmate got so bored that we have started playing games like tic-tac-toe, hangman, rock-paper-scissors, and the box game.

What I spend most of my time doing though is daydreaming about getting out (as you can imagine). I think about what it’s going to be like doing things I’m not used to, like going to church, holding a job, going back to school, etc…

I try to imagine what a single day will be like for me where I’m not selling drugs, getting high, or just life in general not being part of a gang.

Every day I spend time reading the Bible praying for the strength to do right. I’d be lying to you if I said I don’t have my doubts and that it’ll be easy.

Every day I see people here in prison who have been here 4 – 5 times before and some people more. If all those people can’t change their lives, it shows me that the odds are against me.

While sitting in the county jail, I made a promise to do right though and I’m giving it all I’ve got this time. Plus I’ve got a lot of help from God.

Status of confinement

The correctional officer called me back at 4:30 p.m. today. She was very nice and answered all my questions.

Apparently, Ted asked to be put in solitary confinement on October 19th. She did not give any details, but said it wasn't uncommon for this to happen, and an investigation is opened whenever someone complains about fearing for their safety. Ted's investigation will take place on Wednesday, October 28th.

I haven't received a letter from Ted since he was sent to Brevard C.I. on October 16th. He wrote nine blog entries and sent them to me before leaving Lake Butler.

Brevard C.I. houses inmates ages 19-24. I've found online that numerous fights happen there all the time. I will be posting a few incidents that occurred there a number of years ago. One boy was stabbed and killing, another had his jaw broken. The officer I spoke with on the phone said that those instances are rare. Nothing like that has happened in years and with over 1,000 inmates, there are of course fights that break out.

People in solitary confinement cannot make phone calls home. (I haven't talked with Ted in over a month.) They can, however, write and receive letters and can get items from the commissary once every two weeks. Luckily I deposited money into his commissary account when he was in Lake Butler - and supposedly that was immediately transferred over to Brevard. I also deposited more money into his account yesterday, but that probably did not get to him in time. He can get extra food, long underwear and other items. I will post a blog entry of a list of some of the commissarry items that he sent to me.

He can also get visits from the chaplain and request a free Bible, although I'm not sure he knows that yet. I wrote it to him in a letter. He can also get books from the prison library.

For now, as far as I know, he is safe. If he had been injured, he would have been taken to medical, so apparently he just feared that something was going to happen or was threatened.

Photo: a cell in Alcatraz

Solitary confinement for protection

I called over to Brevard C.I. at 11:30 a.m. to find out when Ted could finally call home and to get a visitation form.

The person who answered the phone said that everyone was at lunch, but when she looked up Ted's DC number, she said he had been placed in confinement. When I asked why, she said he had requested protection.

She told me to call back at 1 p.m. to find out more information.

I called back at 1 p.m. and was told that the officer was in the confinement section. They took my phone number and said it probably wouldn't be until after 4 p.m. until I got a callback.

Shake downs

Since I’ve been here nothing has been stolen from me, at least not by an inmate.

A couple of times a week, the COs come in and search through everybody’s stuff.

The first time they did it while I was here, my roommate had a Ramen noodle soup and a razor blade under his bed right next to each other. Neither was hidden.

So the COs came in and did their search – and took his Ramen noodles, but left the razor blade. I guess the CO was hungry.

Every time they do a shakedown, they take somebody’s cigarettes and food. It doesn’t seem like they’re looking for contraband because they never take the contraband out. Only food and cigarettes.

Must be nice to get free food and cigarettes whenever you want.

Gangs in prison

This is probably something I should have realized years ago, but I’m realizing it more and more in prison.

I look around and I see all these gangs in prison – wearing their clothes a certain way or having gang tattoos – but I don’t see what they can offer you.

They say they can offer protection, but to me that just puts a target on your head. They also say theirs [the name of their gang] softly in numbers. Well most of the fights I see are gang-related and there are hardly ever more than two people fighting – while the rest of their gangs just stand around and watch.

It is a little different on the street. Gangs on the street tend to be more loyal to the gang, but like I said in the beginning – they don’t have anything to offer.

Sure they’ll say you could make money and have girls, but is it worth it? I’d rather find a girl who wants nothing to do with gangs and doesn’t care if I’m rich.

Just look at what you get offered to join a gang and then look at what life has to offer you not being in a gang.

A real cut up

Last night as I was sleeping, I was awakened by someone at the other end of my wing.

He was screaming “Help…Help me!”

At first I thought it was just one of these knuckleheads trying to be funny, but I started to wake up a little more and I could tell he was in trouble.

All of a sudden the CO came running into the wing trying to figure out what was going on. He ran to the cell and handcuffed them both. He took them both somewhere where nobody could see and came back shortly afterward and started searching the cell.

I guess when the CO started coming, the guy that was trying to cut his cellmate flushed his razor blade down the toilet before the CO got to them.

Even so, he was sent to the box for who knows how long and his cellmate was put into protective custody unharmed.

I’ve only been here three weeks. I wonder what will happen next…

Showers in Lake Butler

This was written before Ted left for the Orlando reception center.

I am currently being held at Lake Butler RMC – Main. I am in I block, which is the old isolation dorm.

Here we get three showers a week – which last anywhere from 30 – 60 seconds, depending on what time we start.

Because it’s so hot in here and there’s no A/C, as soon as you get out of the shower you’re sweating again and it’s just like you never took any kind of shower in the first place.

When you get in these showers, it’s always either too hot or too cold.

The showers are two-man showers separated by bars.

It’s really hard getting used to showering with another person next to you.

I suppose it could be worse. Maybe?

Constant harassment

Every morning we wake up to go to breakfast at 4:30 and last night was no different. We woke up, went to chow, and came back. When we got back, everybody’s stuff was torn up and thrown all over the place. That’s not really unusual, but this time a lot of people got their cigarettes taken by the CO even though we’re allowed to have them. Just as everybody was making their beds again, one of the COs came walking through smoking the inmates’ cigarettes. You might ask ‘Well how do you know that he was smoking theirs?’ I know because he said so.

He passed my room and went to the cell next to mine and asked him “What would you do for your cigarettes?” He replied, “What do you want me to do Sir?” So the CO made him sing the Barney theme song out loud, then made him sing the YMCA song – but instead of saying “Y..M..C..A,” he had to sing “Y Am I Gay!”

Then for the next two hours, he sat one cell over messing with that man over every little thing, so I couldn’t sleep the whole time. Then after he was finally through, he refused to turn the lights off so we could go to sleep.

These COs here just love to come to work to make you mad.

I got to be honest – he was kinda funny for the first five minutes, but he got real old, real fast.

Transferred to permanent camp

I received another letter today (the third in three days). Ted was transferred to Brevard C.I. in Cocoa, FL (near Daytona) last night. I called and he is currently in an air-conditioned dorm, but will not be staying there. He is in minimum security.

About Brevard C.I.:

Brevard only houses youthful/adult males from ages 19-24.
There's a maximum capacity of 1,032 in Minimum, Medium, Closed and Community housing.
There are two open bay housing units and 10 cell housing units.

Services offered are:

Academic Programs:
Adult Basic Education/GED
Literacy

Vocational Programs:
Air Conditioning/ Refrigeration and Heating
Architectural Drafting
Commercial Foods/ Culinary Arts
PC Support
Pipe Trade Systems Technology
Commercial Truck Driving

Wellness Education Services:
Fresh Start Smoking Cessation
Wellness Education
Sports Leagues

Library Services:
Library Program
Minor Law Collection

Substance Abuse Programs:
Tier 1- Substance Abuse Education
Tier 3- Long Term Residential Therapeutic Community (RTC)

Chaplaincy Services:
Chapel Library Program
Kairos Week-ends
Prison Fellowship Monthly
Religious Education
T.D. Jakes Satellite Location
Way Home Bridge Builders
Worship Services

Institutional Betterment Programs:
Parent and Child Together in Print

Other Ongoing Programs:
Life Skills

Sick in prison

I’ve been sick the last three days, and for the whole three days, I’ve been asking the correctional officers (COs) for Tylenol.

They keep telling me they’ll do it when they aren’t so busy, but for some reason I still ain’t got any.

I can’t see too much from my cell, but from what I can see, the correctional officers are never busy. They just sit around spitting out tobacco.

Now I know it’s their job to make us not want to come back, but the least they can do is get me some Tylenol.

My head and body won’t stop hurting and the more I complain about it, the less they come around my cell.

Also besides not being able to get medicine, the worst part about being sick in here is having to walk to and from the dining hall and having to sit out on the rec field for about two hours in the hot sun.

Letters at last

Today a bunch of blog entries arrived in the mail! Ted has been moved to the Central Florida Reception Center in Orlando. I called the prison and spoke with his occupational officer. He will be moved to his permanent facility on Monday. I was told to wait to deposit any money into his commissary account until he arrived at his permanent one. He is very sick, but does not have the swine flu, as he is in with the general pop, the officer said.

Hiya Mom,

For the last three days I’ve been so sick. It’s from one of three things. Either it’s from being hot with no A/C all day, this filthy cell, or them making us walk back from the rec field in the pouring rain. My guess is all of the above.

This is the first time in three days I’ve had enough strength to even write you.

Besides not being able to get medicine in here – the worst part about being sick is having to walk to and from chow hall and having to stay out on the rec field. They make us stay out there for two or three hours and the whole time, I just want to pass out.

Anyway, I’m still sick, but I’m starting to recover a little. I still can’t eat much, but I’m tryin'.

It’s so boring in here I can’t take it. Oh yea, they sent your books back. They've got to be from a book publisher or dealer. [They were.]

When I get to my permanent camp, I’m going to try and get my CDL license or take up carpentry. It’ll give me something to do. I’m really hoping to get my CDL though.

Anyway, even though I’ve been sleeping for three days, I’m gonna go back to sleep.

Give Cocoa a tummy rub for me. I love you and miss you.

Teddy

Car search

This entry was written back in August when Ted was still in the Pinellas County Jail.

One night as I was driving to work, I was pulled over for having a headlight out.

Anyway, the cop ran my license and everything checked out okay. When he gave me back my license, he asked me if I had anything illegal in the car. I told him no – even though I did.

He asked me if he could search my car and again I told him no.

Then he told me to step out of the car because he was going to search my car anyway. Those were his exact words.

Even though he had no right to search my car, I was still wrong ‘cause I shouldn’t have had weed in my car.

Naturally, I was arrested and taken to jail.

Prison mail rules

The following rules apply to routine mail going to Florida prisons.

33-210.101 Routine Mail.

(1) The provisions of this section shall apply to routine mail. Routine mail is all inmate mail, except legal mail (see 33-210.102, F.A.C. privileged mail (see 33-210.103, F.A.C.) and publications (see 33-501.401, F.A.C.).

(2) Inmates will be permitted to receive only the following types of materials through routine mail:
(a) Written correspondence (no limit as to number of pages). Correspondence may be written on greeting cards, but cards containing electronic or other non-paper parts, cards which are constructed in such a way as to permit concealment of contraband, or which are larger than 8"x10" will not be permitted.
(b) Up to 5 pages of additional written materials, unless prior approval is obtained from the warden to send in an enclosure of greater than five pages.
Each page can be no larger than 8 1/2 x 14 inches in size; material can be on both sides of a page. This does not include bound publications which will be handled pursuant to Rule 33-501.401, F.A.C.
Individual newspaper or magazine articles or clippings or clippings from other publications are permissible, up to the 5 page limit.
No item can be glued, taped, stapled or otherwise affixed to a page.
Requests to send enclosures of greater than five pages shall be made to the warden or his designee prior to sending the material.
Exceptions to the five page limitation are intended for enclosures concerning legal, medical, or other significant issues, and not for material for general reading or entertainment purposes.
The warden shall advise the sender and the mail room of his approval or disapproval of the request.
(c) Photographs. Photographs will be counted toward the 5 page additional materials limitation. Nude photographs or photographs which reveal genitalia, buttocks, or the female breast will not be permitted.
Polaroid photographs will not be permitted.
Photographs will not exceed 8"x10".
(d) Self-addressed stamped envelopes. These items do not count toward the 5 page limitation for additional materials, but cannot exceed the equivalent of 20 (1 ounce) first class stamps.
(e) Blank greeting cards (no larger than 8"x10"), stationery or other blank paper or envelopes. These items do not count toward the 5 page limitation for additional materials, but cannot exceed 10 in number, with a total possession limit of 15 of each item.
(f) U.S. postage stamps. The value of the stamps cannot exceed the equivalent of 20 (1 oz.) first class stamps. These items do not count toward the 5 page limitation for additional materials.

(3) No other items may be received through incoming routine mail. If an impermissible item is found (other than items of an illegal nature, the entire correspondence will be returned to the sender pursuant to subsection (11) of this rule.
For example, the following items are not permissible for inclusion in or attachment to routine mail:
(a) Non-paper items;
(b) Items of a non-communicative nature such as lottery tickets or matchbooks;
(c) Stickers or stamps (other than postage stamps, postal service attachments, and address labels affixed to the outside of the envelope);
(d) Address labels (other than those affixed to the outside of the envelope);
(e) Laminated cards or other laminated materials.

(4) Inmates shall be responsible for informing correspondents of the regulations concerning incoming routine mail.

(5) Any routine mail sent or received may be opened, examined and read by a designated employee.
Outgoing mail shall not be sealed by the inmate sender. Incoming and outgoing mail that is properly addressed and otherwise in compliance with applicable rules shall not be held for processing for more than 48 hours of receipt by the mail room, excluding weekends and holidays.

(6) Except as provided in this section, inmates may send mail to and receive mail from any person or group they wish.

(7) Correspondence with inmates of other penal institutions shall be subject to the approval of the warden of each institution. Either warden shall withhold approval if he finds that the intended correspondence would present a substantial threat of interference with the security, order or rehabilitative objectives of his institution.

(8) Inmates may not send mail to any person who has advised the warden that he does not wish to receive mail from the inmate.
The parents or legal guardians of a person under the age of 18 may advise that mail is not to be sent to such person. Upon receipt of such advisement, the warden will cause to be prepared an acknowledgement specifying that the inmate will not be permitted to send mail to the person requesting the correspondence restriction and that such person should return any further mail received from the inmate and notify the warden of the attempt to correspond.
After the inmate is notified of the correspondence restriction, any further attempt to correspond will be considered a violation of this rule and of section 9-14 of the Rules of Prohibited Conduct, (33-601.314, F.A.C.) and will subject the inmate to disciplinary action.

(9) Outgoing or incoming mail shall be disapproved for mailing or delivery to the inmate if any part of it:
(a) Depicts or describes procedures for the construction of or use of weapons, ammunitions, bombs, chemical agents, or incendiary devices;
(b) Depicts, encourages, or describes methods of escape from correctional facilities or contains blueprints, drawings or similar descriptions of Department of Corrections facilities or institutions, or includes road maps that can facilitate escape from correctional facilities;
(c) Depicts or describes procedures for the brewing of alcoholic beverages, or the manufacture of drugs or other intoxicants;
(d) Is written in code;
(e) Depicts, describes or encourages activities which may lead to the use of physical violence or group disruption;
(f) Encourages or instructs in the commission of criminal activity;
(g) Is dangerously inflammatory in that it advocates or encourages riot, insurrection, disruption of the institution, violation of department or institution rules, the violation of which would present a serious threat to the security, order or rehabilitative objectives of the institution or the safety of any person;
(h) Threatens physical harm, blackmail or extortion;
(i) Pictorially depicts sexual conduct as defined by s. 847.001, FS, as follows:
1. Actual or simulated sexual intercourse;
2. Sexual bestiality;
3. Masturbation;
4. Sadomasochistic abuse;
5. Actual contact with a person’s unclothed genitals, pubic area, buttocks, or, if such person is a female, breast;
6. Any act or conduct which constitutes sexual battery or simulates that sexual battery is being or will be committed.
(j) Presents nudity or a lewd exhibition of the genitals in such a way as to create the appearance that sexual conduct is imminent, i.e., display of contact or intended contact with genitals, pubic area, buttocks or female breasts orally, digitally or by foreign object, or display of sexual organs in an aroused state.
(k) Contains criminal history, offender registration, or other personal information about another inmate or offender which, in the hands of an inmate, presents a threat to the security, order or rehabilitative objectives of the correctional system or to the safety of any person;
(l) Is not in compliance with incoming mail regulations set forth in subsections (2) and (3) of this rule (incoming mail only);
(m) Contains or appears to contain unknown or unidentifiable substances; or
(n) otherwise presents a threat to the security, order, or rehabilitative objectives of the Correctional System, or to the safety of any person.

(10) No inmate may establish or conduct a business through the mail during his period of incarceration.

(11) When an inmate is prohibited from sending a letter, the letter and a written and signed notice stating one of the authorized reasons for disapproval and indicating the portion or portions of the letter causing disapproval will be given to the inmate.
When an inmate is prohibited from receiving any item of mail, the inmate and the sender will be given notice in writing that the mail has been disapproved stating one of the authorized reasons for disapproval.
The Unauthorized Mail Return Receipt, Form DC2-521, will be placed in the original envelope with the correspondence and returned to the sender.
If contraband is discovered in the mail (other than contraband of an illegal nature), the contraband item and the correspondence will be returned to the sender with the Unauthorized Mail Return Receipt included.
In either case the inmate may file a grievance to be reviewed by an officer or official other than the person disapproving the mail.
Form DC2-521 is hereby incorporated by reference. Copies of the form are available from the Forms Control Administrator, Office of the General Counsel, 2601 Blair Stone Road, Tallahassee, Florida, 32399-2500. The effective date of this form is December 4, 2002.

(12) The address of all incoming mail must contain the inmate's committed name, identification number and institutional address.
The return address of all outgoing mail must contain only the inmate's committed name, identification number and institutional name and institutional address.
No prefix other than inmate, Mr., Ms., Miss, or Mrs. nor any suffix other than Jr., Sr. or Roman numeral such as II or III may be included as part of the committed name in the return address.
The institutional name in the return address must be spelled out completely with no abbreviations.
All outgoing routine mail will be stamped "mailed from a state correctional institution" by mail room staff.

(13) When an inmate is transferred or released, routine mail addressed to the inmate at his old institution shall be treated as follows:
(a) For 1 month after the transfer or release, all first-class and second-class mail will be returned to the post office within 10 working days of receipt with a forwarding address, if available, and a request will be made to postal authorities to forward.
All postage due is the responsibility of the inmate and must be paid in accordance with postage regulations.
At the end of the 1-month period, all first-class and second-class routine mail will be returned to the U.S. Postal Service with no attempt to have mail forwarded.

(b) From the date of transfer or release, all routine mail other than firstclass and second-class will be returned to the U.S. Postal Department for its disposition.

(14) No postage or writing materials shall be provided to inmates for routine mail except that postage and writing materials shall be provided to any inmate with insufficient funds for mailing one first class letter weighing one ounce or less each month to be used for mailing one first class letter weighing one ounce or less each month.
Local procedures may be established to require the inmate to request the free postage and writing materials or to establish a specific day of the month for the free letters to be processed.
Inmates shall be permitted to receive U.S. postage stamps in their routine mail so long as the value of the stamps does not exceed the equivalent of 20 (1 oz.) first class stamps.
Inmates may not possess more than the equivalent of 25 (1 oz.) first class stamps.
Due care shall be exercised in processing mail, however, the department shall not be responsible for any postage stamps sent through the mail.

(15) Inmates shall not utilize hand-made packages or envelopes to send out routine mail. Mail enclosed in such materials will be returned to the inmate without processing.

(16) Outgoing packages and envelopes will not bear any artwork, additional lettering or designs other than the required address and return address.

Ted's 5th birthday party

Today was Columbus Day, so there was no mail delivery - which means no new blog entries from Ted yet.

Here's a video clip of Ted's 5th birthday party - even then he was popular with the ladies. Notice the cute missing front tooth!

From everything to nothing

Since I’ve still not received any new blog entries from Ted, I will post some unpublished entries that he wrote in the Pinellas County Jail.

In the last 2½ years, I have owned three very nice cars.

The first was a Mitsubishi 3000GT, which had a VTEC engine and was very fast.

Then I sold my Mitsubishi to buy an all-custom Honda Accord with air-bag suspension, limo-tinted windows, custom paint job, and a five-foot-long sun roof that you could fit 15 people out of the roof.

Then I sold that and I bought a right-hand drive turbo Honda Civic.

Soon after buying my Civic, I got real drunk and took a bunch of pills and wrecked my car by driving into a telephone pole.

After finally wrecking my third car, I could not afford to fix it and I couldn’t sell my car for enough money to buy another decent car – so I sold my Civic and bought a bunch of marijuana to try and make enough money for a new car.

But the day after I bought the marijuana, the cops confiscated it all. I was left with nothing.

Especially over the last couple of years, I have made many bad mistakes which have caused me to go from having it all to having nothing.

I just want to say that if you want to sell and do drugs, you may have nice things for a little while, but you will end up losing everything – and I do mean Everything.

Photos: Ted at age 15 as he learns to drive in his future Mitsubishi; Low-rider with air suspension, Right-hand drive car. (Click on images to enlarge.)

No books are to be sent to the Reception and Medical Center

I called RMC – Main on Friday morning and spoke with Ted’s prison case manager. Ted had written that he was allowed to have books sent to him, so I ordered five books from book publishers on eBay. His case manager told me he was not allowed to receive books at the reception center. He had to wait until he went to his permanent facility. I asked what would happen to the five books I sent to him. She said they would go into the prison’s library. Ted doesn’t have access to the library. It must be just for permanent residents of the prison.

The case manager also said that he would be moved within five weeks. He arrived at RMC – Main on September 29th and he will be there five weeks as of November 3rd.

I also asked when he would be able to call home. He has to fill out a phone form before he can call home. Calls can’t be made to cell phones.

Extreme punishment

Raiford prison is very close to RMC Main - where Ted is.

The following article appeared in the Jacksonville news on July 6, 2009:

Florida prison sergeant gets 3 years for pouring scalding water on inmate

A former Florida Department of Corrections sergeant was sentenced Monday to three years in prison for assaulting an inmate at Raiford by pouring a bottle of scalding water on his chest.

A federal jury in Jacksonville convicted Paul Gregory Tillis of Lake Butler in January of depriving inmate Jerry Williams of his civil rights by causing second-degree burns while the prisoner laid on the floor of his cell. Tillis, 44, also failed to seek medical attention for Williams after the assault, the U.S. Justice Department said.

At the time, Tillis was working as a supervisory corrections officer at Florida State Prison in a wing for inmates who posed discipline problems. He said he poured the water through the food flap of Williams’ cell to determine whether Williams was faking an injury.

Florida could start sending prisoners out of state

Still no additional blog entries from Ted from prison. I have some older unposted entries that he wrote in jail and will start posting those or some video clips of him when he was younger if I don't receive anything in the mail tomorrow.

In the meantime, someone sent me the following article from the Associated Press today. Interestingly enough, Ted actually parked Governor Crist's car at a grand opening of a resort on Clearwater Beach where he worked as a valet.

MIAMI - People sentenced for a Florida crime could someday do their time thousands of miles away.

A law signed by Gov. Charlie Crist would let Florida for the first time send state inmates to out-of-state prisons. Corrections officials say they oppose joining at least eight other states who outsource some of their prison beds. But the governor and a private prison company that supported the law say it could someday be an option the state wants.

When other states have sent inmates out of state it has almost exclusively been to private facilities, though Florida's law would also allow the department to contract with other states.

Florida has the nation's third largest state prison system and topped 100,000 inmates late last year.

Letter from RMC #1

I received one letter today from Ted, but no blog entries. He said he sent them separately in case some of them are confiscated. Hopefully I'll get them tomorrow. So here are parts of his letter:

Mom,

I got your $50 that you put in. Thank you.

Right now I'm in a two-man cell and my roommate is a white kid who's my age. He's cool. We play a lot of cards. It's all there is to do.

I pretty much explained where I was in my last letter. It's just like every prison you see on TV except dirtier. Nothing works right.

Also I have a pretty decent mattress and pillow, but who can sleep when people are constantly shouting from cell to cell all night.

Some things I'm allowed to get are books from book dealers or book publishers, pictures, stamp and envelopes (I got yours Thanks), and a watch and necklace under $50 apiece.

While I'm at this camp they aren't doing anything about my wisdom teeth so I'm going to get it done at my main camp.

Well, I guess I'll tell you everything else in my blogs.

I love you a lot and miss you. Pet Cocoa for me.

Your favorite son,

Teddy

Photo: Ted's dog Cocoa

Prison movies

Still awaiting further communication from Ted at RMC-Main. In the meantime:

Here’s a list of some [supposedly great] prison movies. Below the list are the sites that listed them and some synopses of each movie.

- The Shawshank Redemption
- The Green Mile
- The Last Castle
- Cool Hand Luke
- Assault on Precinct 13
- The Rock
- Escape from Alcatraz
- The Hurricane
- Dead Man Walking
- Life
- Escape from New York
- Fortress
- Con Air
- My Cousin Vinny
- Chicago
- Alien 3
- Blood In, Blood Out (Bound by Honor)
- The Longest Yard
- Death Race
- In the Name of the Father
- And God Created Woman
- Brother, Where Art Thou?
- Hart’s War
- Hanoi Hilton
- The Count of Monte Cristo
- Banished Behind Bars
- Prison of Secrets
- Murder in the First
- Caged Heat
- There Was a Crooked Man
- Gothika
- Lock Up
- The Bridge on the River Kwai
- Reindeer Games
- The Reader
- Midnight Express
- Prison on Fire
- Death Warrant
- American History X
- Ernest Goes to Jail
- Let’s Go to Prison
- The Birdman of Alcatraz
- Bad Boys
- Papillon
- The Deer Hunter
- The Great Escape
- Chicago (2002)
- 48 Hours
- Stir Crazy
- The Life of David Gale
- 25th Hour
- 21 Grams
- Stalag 17
- Brubaker
- The Great Raid

If you have another movie to add, please send to teeninjail@yahoo.com.

For more on these movies, visit the following links:

The Top Five Prison Movies of All Time

Best Prison Movies

Amazon.com’s Best Prison Movies

The Best Prison Movies – eBaum’s World Forum

Best Prison Movies of All Time – Franks Reel Reviews

Prison life

Right now I’m in a two-man cell. It’s 23-hour lockdown and there’s no A/C, so I’m always sweating.

Every day the guards wake us up at 5 a.m. and walk us to the chow hall. Actually believe it or not, the food is better here than in the county jail, but unlike the county jail, you have at the most 5 minutes to eat. I’m still trying to learn to eat fast.

Also when you eat, you can’t talk or even look at the person next to you. I don’t know if it’s like that at every prison, but that’s how it is here.

After breakfast we go back to our cells ‘til about noon, Then we go to lunch. Then after that, guess what? We get to go back to our cells ‘til about 5 p.m. for dinner. I bet you can’t guess what we do after that. You’re right! We go back to our cells.

Once or twice a week after dinner, we get to go to canteen (commissary) and buy food, sodas, cigarettes, etc…

All in all, time drags by.

Right now my earliest release date is July 12, 2010, but they can’t hold me longer than October 29, 2010.

Prison guards

Let me start off by saying the guards in the county jail suck, but the guards in prison are way worse.

In county jail, the guards can only put their hands on you for two reasons: one for fighting, and two, if you try to escape. But in prison the guards can put their hands on you just because you looked at them wrong.

It seems like the guards in prison are supposed to be in a bad mood 24/7. It doesn’t even matter if you’re doing what you’re supposed to do – they still yell at you for something anyway.

And another thing – I haven’t heard a guard speak yet without cursing. It’s always “F this” and “F that”, and “you stupid whiteboy M&%$# Fer”.

I still don’t understand why they keep calling me a whiteboy like it’s a bad thing. The thing that doesn’t make the most sense is the guards calling me a whiteboy are WHITE!

Well that’s a prison guard in a nutshell.

Photo: Andy Dufresne and a prison guard in The Shawshank Redemption

All day in a cell

As ya’ll probably already know, I spend most…all of my day in a cell.

I used to think I knew what it’s like to be bored, but being in a cell all day gives being bored a whole new meaning.

Since I just got here, I don’t have much. I don’t have any cards, no books, no commissary – well just about anything we’re allowed to have, I’m lacking, so all day I lay in my bed and look at the back of my eyelids.

I try to sleep all day, but a person can only sleep so much, so I keep finding myself looking at the wall.

One thing about my cell – it’s sooo dirty. It looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in YEARS! There’s unidentifiable stuff all over the walls and floors. Also there’s bugs everywhere. There’s ants, spiders, cockroaches, flies, mosquitoes, and some other bugs I’ve never seen in my life. As I’m writing this, I’m looking at at least 8 – 10 ants and two other bugs I’ve never seen.

Man I can’t wait to get out!

(Blogger’s note: Ted is a heavy snorer and sleeps with his mouth wide open almost continuously.)

First day in prison

This is the first blog I’ve wrote since I got to prison. I’m currently at Lake Butler, and to be honest – I have no idea where that is.

In the last few blogs, I said that I would have to watch what I write and that I would have to keep it PG-13. Now I actually realize how much stuff I can’t write about without correctional officers taking my letters. Instead of PG-13, I’m going to have to keep them rated G.

It’s now my second day here and it feels like months.

Within minutes of arriving here, I found myself standing in a room naked with about 20 other guys being strip searched.

The rest of my first day consisted of sitting on a wood bench in my boxers – being yelled at. I know they’re just trying to scare us, but to be honest – it’s starting to work.

Also throughout my first day, they gave me a hard time about my gang tattoos. They don’t even care if I was in a gang or not. Just the fact I had tattoos that even looked gang related.

By the way – keep in mind that I’m keeping the details to the barest minimum. My first day was pure hell and it’s only just begun…

(Stay tuned for more horrific details.)

Photos: Prison intake mug shot; Tattoos: "Courage an Honor" and "The World is Mine"

The trip to prison

On Tuesday, September 22nd at 2:30 a.m., I was woken up and told that I was going to be transferred, so I got up and packed my stuff.

I left my pod and was brought to the maximum security part of the jail. There I sat in a small one-man cell with six other people that were going to prison too. We must have sat in there for about two hours. During that time, we were fed breakfast.

After breakfast, we were led to a hallway with even more people on their way to prison. In the hall, we were shackled and handcuffed to the person next to us. There was about 20 of us altogether.

After we were handcuffed and shackled, we were lead to a bus. When we walked it was like a 3-legged race because of the shackles. The bus we got on was a big white bus that said ‘Pinellas County Sheriff Transport’ along the side with bars all along the windows.

When we got on the bus, we went through two gates toward the back of the bus where we sat in some uncomfortable plastic seats. The guards that were transporting us were armed with assault rifles.

I’m not sure how long the trip was to Lake Butler, but I’d have to say it was about 4-5 hours and the whole time we had to stay handcuffed and shackled to the person next to us. I tried to get some sleep, but couldn’t do it. There was no way to get comfortable.

This was the beginning of the worst day of my life…

Almost gone

It’s Monday night and in a couple hours I could possibly leave to go to prison.

I have asked a lot of people what it’ll be like and what to expect. I’m anxious, yet scared.

I will kind of be disappointed if I don’t go, but even if I don’t, I will leave on Thursday.

I heard that that first 2-4 weeks will be the worst, but that would probably be true even if the prison wasn’t filled with convicts.

I’m not sure how long it will be before I can send or receive letters – and not hearing from my family will be the worst.

Right now I’m only 15 minutes away from where I live, but who knows where I’ll be in a month or two. I could be almost in Alabama for all I know.

Well in a few hours, I’ll know if I’m going or not, and I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

Wish me luck…

My brother

No matter what I did or where I went, I had this friend who was always there for me.

At times we seemed to be on top of the world and sometimes times were hard, but no matter what, we stuck by each other.

Anyway, this is for him.

On 8/11/09, he came to jail for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. I don’t really want to know what he did, but by the grace of God, his charges are being dropped.

I just want to say to him –

I know we’ve been to hell and back together and not even a bullet could’ve separated us. When you get out, I hope you realize how close you were to coming to prison with me. Please if you don’t listen to anything else, listen to this.

The drugs are going to make you do things you regret – even if you don’t intend to do anything wrong. Just look at the scars on my face and you’ll know what I’m saying.

I want you to know I pray for you every night.

I'm ready to go

I never thought I would say that I'm looking forward to going to prison, but you have to understand that I've literally been in the same room for 11 months without really going outside under the open sky.

Not to mention that Chuck Norris is now working in the pod 3-4 days a week. The other day, he came up to me and said, "Braden, do you know why I have a problem getting along with people, and especially my girlfriend?" I thought he was going to say cause he talks too much or something like that, but instead he said, "It's because I'm always right!"

I pray that no other human should be put through that kind of torture that only Deputy Phillips (aka Chuck Norris) can dish out.

P.S. Chuck Norris is about 15 feet away from me as I write this.

(This entry was written before Ted left the Pinellas County Jail.)

Is the Pinellas County Jail starving inmates?

Ted was 130 or 135 lbs. when he entered the Pinellas County jail on October 30, 2009 at age 18.

Eleven months later, he weighed 119 lbs., according to the reception center this past week.

Ted was receiving extra money in the jail - anywhere from $30 to $50 every week - to buy extra food (ie. snacks and Ramen noodles) from the commissary.

The reception center also listed his height at 5'8", when he is really 5'9" or 5'10" - depending on what record you're looking at. Teens stop growing [in inches of height] at 19 years old.

According to the standard weight and height chart, men should weigh the following:

Small frame Medium frame Large frame

5'8" - 140-148 - 145-157 - 152-172
5'9" - 142-151 - 148-160 - 155-176
5'10" - 144-154 - 151-163 - 158-180

Could budget cuts be having an even more drastic effect on the amount of food inmates are receiving? Inmates always have complained of hunger, but are they now been starved? What is happening to those that don't have the money to buy extra food?

Jail food

When you first come to jail, the worst part about it (besides being here) is the hunger.

A lot of people don't have money - or people to give them money - so that means they can't eat commissary food.

Sure, the jail feeds you, but if you only eat the meals the jail feeds you, you'll be left still hungry.

It sucks not being able to eat what you want, when you want.

The food you get for each meal is never any good - sometimes it's unrecognizable - and also the amount you get is a joke.

I'm a small person (119 lbs.) and if I could eat four trays of this food, imagine how hungry someone who's bigger than me feels.

The meals here only are enough to keep me from coming back! That's not even mentioning all the other reasons - which I won't get into - because I'm sure you've got some kind of plans for the next week!

When I get to prison

OK, here's the deal.

When I get to prison, I am going to continue to write these blogs, but unfortunately everything I send out is going to be read, so I am going to have to keep everything I say PG-13, so to speak.

Everything that I'm not able to post from prison, I will post when I get out.

I am hoping it doesn't get to the point where the prison doesn't want me to write blogs at all. I don't think it will come to that and even if it does - my mom will take over until I get out [writing entries about my past crimes and incarcerations].

I hope all of you will continue to read my blogs.

Prisons ban inmates from having pen pal ads

One person wrote to teeninjail@yahoo.com and said that it might not be possible for Ted to blog from prison. The writer said that Florida's Department of Corrections (DOC) might consider it a violation of their rules and referenced the below article by the Associated Press.

The Associated Press
July 29, 2009 Wednesday

Prisons ban inmates from having pen pal ads
BYLINE: By JESSICA GRESKO, Associated Press Writer
DATELINE: MIAMI

In her online profile, Paula Jones says she is 42, "nonjudgmental" and likes fishing, gardening and cuddling. There's a catch, though. Jones' picture shows her in her blue Florida prison uniform. She won't be outuntil at least 2010.

Her listing is posted on a Web site called WriteAPrisoner.com. She's looking for a pen pal.

"If you're looking for someone genuine and true, I'm looking for you," herprofile says. "I'm just a stamp away.

"By posting her profile, however, Jones is breaking a rule. Florida officials have banned inmates from having the Match.com-style listings, saying prisoners just create problems for their outside-the-pen pals.

Other states Missouri, Montana, Indiana and Pennsylvania have similar restrictions. Now lawsuits in Florida and elsewhere say the bans are unfair and violate First Amendment rights.

"The public knows when they're writing to these people that they're prisoners," said Randall Berg Jr., a lawyer representing two pen pal groups including Florida-based WriteAPrisoner.com that have sued in the state. "Nobody is being duped here.

"WriteAPrisoner.com president and owner Adam Lovell says the bulk of the people who use his site to write to inmates are from religious groups, military people stationed overseas and others affected by the prison. Fraud isn't as widespread as Florida corrections officials suggest, he said.

Jones, who is serving time in a women's prison north of Orlando, wrote in a letter to The Associated Press that she's not a danger to potential penpals. She says she wants someone to write to for emotional support and to be less lonely.

"Not everyone has (ulterior) motives, lies or solicits," wrote Jones, who pleaded guilty to cocaine possession with the intent to sell. "Some of us... even if it's very few are truly genuine and hope to meet someone good in our life.

"But the Florida Department of Corrections doesn't want to take any chances. In 2003, the department changed its policy to prohibit inmates from advertising for pen pals or getting mail from pen pal groups. Inmates who continue to advertise can have privileges such as visitation or phone calls revoked.

The department made the change after receiving complaints from people who had been taken advantage of and from victims and their families who saw prisoners' ads, said Department of Corrections spokeswoman Gretl Plessinger.

"We're doing it to protect the public," Plessinger said. "Inmates can have pen pals they just can't solicit for pen pals.

"Other states make similar arguments and have now drawn similar lawsuits.

In Indiana, the American Civil Liberties Union is representing prisoners protesting the state's policy, which also prevents inmates from advertising on Web sites or receiving mail from pen pal organizations.

The ACLU also says it is working on a lawsuit over Missouri's policy and investigating the policy in Montana, where inmates may not receive mail from people who identify themselves as a pen pal.

For now, some Florida inmates are ignoring the ban and listing themselves anyway. The inmates communicate with the sites by sending letters in the mail, and sometimes family members pay the fees for the sites, about $40 a year for WriteAprisoner.com and other sites.

On WriteAprisoner.com, Florida members range from a 41-year-old who tells potential pals she's a 36DD to a 28-year-old who says he has had a "bumpy lifestyle" and is on death row for a crime he didn't commit.

Then there's a man spending life in prison for first-degree murder who has found another way around the ban.

"Please note that the Florida prison system is now locking us up in confinement for placing ads for pen pals," he writes on hisWriteAPrisoner.com page. "So if you respond to this ad please don't mention the profile."

On the Net:Florida Department of Corrections: http://www.dc.state.fl.us
WriteAPrisoner.com: http://writeaprisoner.com/

Good people

The next few entries were sent from Ted just before he left for prison...

Even though I am going to prison, everything I am doing with these blogs is bringing good people back into my life - which is something I really need.

For instance, yesterday my 6th grade science teacher - who I haven't seen in years - came to see me. That meant so much to me. (I don't know if she knows it, but she was the best teacher I every had. I'm sure she'll still be around to teach me new things.)

The biggest thing I've noticed with all these people coming to see me to give me encouragement is that not one of these people have judged what I've done in the past. The only thing any of these people care about is that I do what I'm supposed to do.

It feels great not to have to hide my past. Thank you to all that have come to see me and also to those who have tried to come see me. Your support means the world to me.

A little advice to others - No matter what you do in life - don't cut the good people out of it. I'm just learning that. Having the right kind of people in your life can make the biggest difference!

A prisoner's first day

The following story is from www.prisonsecrets.com. An inmate recounts his first day in prison…

My First Day in Prison

"My first day in prison was one I’ll never forget. I was in jail, and as bad as THAT seems, I was in fear of the unknown - Prison! If you have ever been to prison then you know what to expect, but I had no idea. I asked others who were in the jail to explain it to me, but all the explaining in the world couldn’t prepare me for what I had in store.

The guards in the jail got me up early to prepare me for the ride to prison. After breakfast and a shower, they handcuffed me and took me to the transport room.

When I got there I saw several other guys who were handcuffed and shackled and sitting there waiting to leave. They took my cuffs off and strip searched me to make sure I wasn’t carrying any weapons (or anything else I wasn’t supposed to have). A strip search isn’t a cavity search. They aren’t going to try to check inside your butt unless they think you have something in there that you aren’t suppose to have.

You get totally naked in front of whoever is there. You face the guard that is strip searching you and you hold your hands and arms up so they can see that you don’t have anything in your hands of taped to your armpits. You open your mouth and move your tongue around so they can see that you don’t have anything in your mouth. Then you run your hands through your hair (if you have any) and pull your ears forward so they can look in and behind them. Next you turn around. You pick up your feet one at a time to show that you don’t have anything taped to the bottom of your feet. Lastly, you bend over and cough. The guard inspects your butthole to see if he thinks you have any drugs or weapons stuffed in there. If they think you have something in there, they do a cavity search on you immediately so you don’t have a chance to get rid of it. And no I didn’t receive one that day (thank god!)

After my strip search, the guard went through my clothes. Not just pockets, but along seams and collars etc. to see if there is anything in there.

Once the strip search was over, the guard took my clothes and gave me my underwear and socks back and took the rest to be transported. He gave me a jumpsuit to wear and some slippers for shoes.

Then he told me to kneel down on the bench facing the wall. When I did, he put shackles on my ankles. Afterward, I stood up (with great difficulty because of the shackles) and he put handcuffs on me. Next they put a chain all the way around my waist and secured the handcuffs to it so you couldn’t raise your arms. Then I sat with the others till everyone that was going was treated in like fashion. Only one guy got mouthy. Everyone else was in shock, not knowing what to expect next.

We were then lead outside to the bus. once we got there, they un-cuffed every other guy and would hook your arm through the other guy’s and re-cuff you again, so you were cuffed to another guy (as if the shackles, belly chains, and handcuffs weren’t uncomfortable enough). And then they seated us all on the bus.

The bus had a thick metal screen and bars on the windows. And when we got on the bus, there was a gate behind the driver’s seat that they locked after we all got inside it. I’m sure with everyone being cuffed and shackled to each other, we weren’t about to attack the driver. Being shackled to someone else made moving around very hard.

After they loaded all of our belongings on the bus and our records, we were off. It would be a three-hour-plus ride to the prison and it was only about 9 or 10. I’m not really sure because they took all of my jewelry (which includes my watch). All we were allowed to have was our underwear, t-shirt, jumpsuit, and slippers. Oh yea, and all these chains.

The ride there was long and uncomfortable. Some guys were starting to talk about how bad they were and what was going to happen. I assume they were just trying to cover up their own insecurities and fears.

As we pulled up to the prison, I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. I tried not to show I was scared, but I was. I tried to act like I was just going to the mall. I wanted so much to be somewhere else, but I couldn’t go. I guess I deserved all that I got. I don’t even want to relive the experience as I tell you about it, but it is as vivid today as it was then. It was a traumatic day.

As we neared the entryway, you could see the razor wire on the fences that surrounds the place, and you could have heard a pin drop inside that bus. Nobody made a sound.

We pulled up to the gate and the guard got out and walked to meet another guard inside the gate. Then the one gate opened and the bus pulled in and the gate closed behind us. At this point we were surrounded by fence and razor wire. It was a fenced in entrance. The guard took a mirror on a pole and looked all underneath the bus. Then he opened the hood and looked around the engine. After that, they talked for a little bit before the gate at the other end opened up and we were moving towards the prison.

We pulled up next to the building and stopped. It seemed like a long time we just waited for the guards to tell us we could get off the bus. Finally they unlocked the gate and told us to start getting off the bus.

As we got off the bus they separated us from the other person that we were chained to, but we all remained shackled and cuffed with belly chains, and we were told to follow the guard inside. You don’t want to take very long steps because the chain on your shackles would fight your strides and it would hurt, so walking was hard to do as well.

Once inside they began taking our chains off. It sure felt good to get them off. Then we were processed one by one – name, date of birth,etc. The guard told me a number and told me not to forget it. I didn’t want to act like I wasn’t paying attention so I didn’t tell him that I didn’t remember it already. I was hoping to ask someone else later.

At this point, everything happened really fast it seemed. It was as if we were running (not literally) through a car wash. They lead us into a room and started to strip search us again. I guess they thought that the other guards didn’t do a good enough job. Once we were naked, we went through a door and it was concrete everywhere. Concrete walls, ceiling, and floors. I was lead to some barber chairs and told I was getting my hair cut. They buzzed it all off. Then I was lead to a shower stall (with no shower curtain), given some liquid soap and told to take a shower (while the guy watched). I’m assuming that this was my delousing.

After the shower I was stopped by another inmate that worked there. You could tell he worked there because he was the only inmate that wasn’t naked, and he asked me what size jumpsuit I wanted. I told him that I didn’t remember my number and he said, “Don’t worry; it’ll be on everything you get. You aren’t going to forget it.” Then he gave me a bag of stuff and a jumpsuit and said, “All I need was in there.”

The bag was a mesh laundry bag and I opened it to get a towel out to dry off. It was then that they said I was to get dressed, and I did.

Then all of us were taken to a cell block. We had been lined up, single file, and marched to the block.

Once we got there, they called out each person’s name (and number), handed them a paper, and told us to put our belongings in your cell, shut the door, and come back to the dayroom area. Our name, number, and cell number was all on the paper. As I walked to my cell I looked at my paper trying to quickly memorize my number so I wouldn’t forget it. Little did I know at that time, that I will never forget that number as long as I live.

I put my things away and looked around. There was a mattress on a metal framework that was bolted to the wall. Farther down was my toilet (sometimes called “The Head”). It’s a stainless steel one that’s attached to the sink. On the opposite wall was a desk and chair to write on. The whole place looked filthy. I wonder when it had been cleaned last. Well, I can look things over later. I shut the cell door and went to the dayroom area (which was just some school like desks all lined up in rows. On the desk was a publication that said, “Inmate Handbook” on it. I sat down and started looking at it.

There were several guards. None seemed to smile or be the least bit friendly. They were calloused (you could tell) from all the people who have come before me. There was no sympathy or understanding. It was their way or else. And at that time I didn’t know what “or else” was, but I didn’t want to find out either.

There was a lot of people talking about what all has happened to us so far and everyone was looking at their handbook when one of the guards said, “Attention people!” and everyone was silent. I don’t remember his exact words, but I’ll try to tell you (for the most part) what he said.

He said, “Gentlemen, I am Captain ____?____ (I don’t remember his name). I am the senior officer here. You have just been admitted into prison. You now belong to me. Your mommy and your daddy can’t help you now. You will do as I say. And if you don’t do as I say, you go to the hole. You have a handbook in front of you. It will tell you what you can and cannot do. If you disobey any of the rules, you go to the hole. If you get smart with any of my Officers, you go to the hole. Don’t get out of line, don’t talk back, and don’t do anything that you aren’t allowed to do or you’ll be going to the hole. This is my prison and I don’t tolerate any insubordination.

This is the isolation block. You will be in cells for the time being while you adapt to prison life. You will be locked down 23 hours a day while you’re here. It is my experience that those who commit suicide in prison usually do it here. If you’re thinking about killing yourself, you’d better do a good job, cause if I catch you, you’re going to wish you were dead!

If you do what you’re told while you’re here, you will have a much more pleasant stay here. You are at the Receiving Center and eventually you will be shipped to your Parent Institution. Until that time you will do as you are told, or I will make it my personal mission to make your time as hard as possible while you’re here. Now I will turn you over to your block Officer. Good day gentlemen.”

As the big man left, another guard began to talk. He told us to follow the rules. And what our laundry and shower schedule would be. He told us if we had any questions to ask. Then he said that we had the next hour for our one hour today to shower, make a phone call, watch TV, or whatever. Then he went up to the desk.

I went to get on the phone but I was too slow. They were already full. I didn’t want to visit with anyone so I just went back to my cell. I went through my handbook and found the mailing address in it. Eventually I got on the phone and called my family. I told them where I was in case they wanted to visit me, and how they could send mail to me.

At the end of the hour, they sent everyone to their cells and locked us down. It got really quiet and with nothing to do and nothing to read, you had a lot of time to think.

After a short time, I heard some odd noises out in the cell block. When it’s quiet like it was, you can hear everything. Not only that but sound echoes around in an empty cell block. So I went to my door and looked out the small window to see what it was. There were some inmates with blue shirts and pants on (like the one that issued me clothing) and they were opening the shoots on our doors. I kept watching and while the one guy opened the rest of the shoots, a couple of other guys were delivering trays of food. It must be chow time. That’s another thing that drives you nuts at first. You have no idea of what time it is. It might be 9 a.m. or it might be 1:30.

The trays were rectangular plastic trays with compartments. The food? Well it’s not mom’s good cooking. It was tuna noodle casserole, two slices of white bread, spinach, lime Jell-o with pear slices, and milk. I don’t like spinach or lime Jello, and the noodles were cooked long enough to become a glob of starch instead of individual noodles. So I salvaged some tuna on the bread to make a sandwich, pulled out the pears for dessert, and had 2% milk to wash it all down. I wasn’t being too picky, I just did 5 months in the county jail and I know it’s either find a way to make a meal or go hungry.

After eating, I set my tray back in the shoot in my door and lay back on my bed to relax and let my food settle. I guess because I had spent so much time in the county jail, I had gotten into a routine. Now we just wait around till supper and we’ll be doing the same thing. Time goes by really slow. Minutes seem like hours. And that’s no exaggeration.

After what seemed like a long time there was some voices that started to progressively get louder and louder until it seemed as though they were yelling. I went to my cell door to look out the window, but I couldn’t see anything. I kept watching and finally saw some guards come in. I saw maybe four or five. They rushed in and you could hear some scuffling noises and some more voices. Then I saw them taking a black guy in handcuffs behind his back to the door of the cell block. I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure they took him to the hole. Maybe tomorrow when we have our hour out of the cell, I’ll ask somebody.

I had been staring at the ceiling for some time, when they started bringing the trays around for supper. It doesn’t take long to figure out this kind of a scheduling. As I waited for the surprise meal, I couldn’t imagine doing years here. What will tomorrow bring. And then, there it was. Hot dogs and beans. I can eat that. It’s not great, but it fills the empty spot in my gut.

Then I placed my tray into the shoot and waited for the guy in blue to come by and get it. This has been some day. A lot has happened. I guess I’ll read my handbook some more.

I lie on my bed and read and got rather bored. There was nothing to do. I got up and paced the floor for a while. I looked out the window to see what I could see. Not much. Nothing of interest.

At one point I had to use the bathroom. Yes that metal monstrosity at the end of my bed. The prison toilet. God I was hoping not to have to use that. Well, I got some toilet paper wet and tried to clean the rim so I could sit down. I got it wet and the dried it off. I guess that’s as good as it gets. I sat down and the metal was cool. I still remember the shock that I felt when I flushed it the first time! The whole thing seemed to turn ice cold! Wow! I was totally unprepared for that! Lucky for me, that was the only surprise I got. I guess it could have been worse.

Later on I started to feel sleepy. I got up early. I am going to try to lie down and sleep. As I laid there, my head spinning with the day’s events. I fear the thought of days and weeks and months and years. It feels long already, but for now, the day is over.”

But the day wasn’t over. He tossed and turned all night. And I’m sure that this is going to be a long time in prison for John.

I know there was no blood and gore, but it was John’s first day at the reception center. When he goes to his Parent Institution, he won’t be isolated and he won’t be in a single man cell. Basically he’s safe from everyone except himself right now. As safe as he can ever be, …. Behind The Walls…

Ted's current location - RMC Main

Ted was not sent to the Central Florida reception center in Orlando. He is currently at the RMC - Main Unit (Reception and Medical Center) in Lake Butler in Union County in North Florida according to the FL Department of Corrections web site. It is unknown how long he will remain there or why he was sent to a medical center.

You can see Ted's profile by clicking here.

Letters can be written to Ted at this address:

Braden, Theodore, DC# 131948
RMC – Main Unit
7765 S. CR 231
P.O. Box 628
Lake Butler, FL 32054-0628

The great unknown

In a previous blog, I wrote about how scared I was to get out, but I have to admit I’m even more scared to go to prison.

The scariest part is not knowing what to expect.

In a prison, you have to keep a certain mentality at all times. I’m not trying to be like that. When I get there, I’m just going to keep to myself.

If I told you that I wasn’t scared, I’d be lying to you.

I think the worst part about having to go to prison is having to watch my mom cry.

All in all, I think I’ll be alright though. I’ll be home before I know it.

Essay written by AC

The following essay was left on the Comment field on the September 21st blog entry. (Similar writings can be sent to teeninjail@yahoo.com for possible posting.)

The Scene That Was Mine

Dope Is Like A Jealous Lover. It Comes In All Kinds Of Dress Bottles, Pills, Needles, Cigarettes. It Knows No Rivals.

Work, Family, Hobbies Are Not Allowed On This Trip. Dope Demands All Your Time And All Your Money. All Your Thoughts And Eventually, Your Body. Nothing Else Ever Comes First. Not Even God.

Dope Destroys Your Will Power And Self-Respect. It Cripples You Completely.

In Return For Your Slavish Devotion, It Will Turn You Into A Conniving Liar, A Thief, A Self-Involved Bore, A Simpering Idiot And A Worthless Bum. Whatever Junk You Are On Will Choke The Life Out Of You.

It Will Kill Everything In You That Is Useful, Decent And Independent. After It Has Twisted Your Brains, If You Are Lucky, It Will Kill You. Otherwise, You May Linger For Years As A Mindless Zombie.

Dope Has Only One Deadly Enemy, It Is The Word NO. No Starts Out Haltingly. It Is Shy And Painful To Say. But The More You Say It, The More It Is Respected, And Finally Accepted.

No Is The Only Cure For The Curse That Is Ruining Your Life.

What Is Dope? It Is The Expensive Private Road To A Permanent Home With The Living Dead. It Is The Trip The Peddlers Try To Talk You Into Taking. It Puts Them On Easy Street And You In Hell. The Day I Learned The Word No I Got Off A 10-Year Merry-Go Round. Thank God I Did, Or I Would Not Be Here To Tell You How My Trip Was.

And How Blessed I Am To Have Found My Way Back . . . By The Grace Of God.

God Bless!

Transported to Orlando reception center

Ted was transported from the Pinellas County Jail to the Central Florida Reception Center in Orlando at 4:35 a.m. on 9/22/09 (this morning).

Scared to get out

(This entry Ted wrote before he was sentenced to prison.)

Every day I hope that I will get out soon, and I think about all the stuff I want to do – like what food I will eat, where will I get a job, etc., but in reality I’m more nervous than excited to get out.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t ever want to come back here as long as I live and I’ll do anything to make sure I don’t – it’s just that most of my teenage years, I’ve spent incarcerated.

When I’m on the streets, I only know one life, but I know that I have to change everything.

I’m going to have to learn how to change my way of thinking. I’m also going to have to handle hostile situations by walking away instead of getting in a fight.

I pray every night for God to give me the strength to change my life… and hopefully someone else’s too.

I miss the little things

When I first came to jail on this charge, the only thing I was concerned about was getting out.

As each day passed, I gradually realized I’m not going anywhere.

I started to miss my girlfriend, my friends, getting high, and pretty much all the things I shouldn’t have cared about in the first place.

After awhile, I started missing just the little everyday things I took for granted - like being able to use the bathroom without having 70 people right behind me, or going to the refrigerator whenever I got hungry.

Now I have to sit and eat food – I’m not even sure what it is – with a bunch of people I don’t even like. Also now I’m used to taking a shower while I’m talking to the dude next to me, and I’m used to hearing a rent-a-cop deputy yelling at me for something I didn’t even do.

I hope that anybody that has never been to jail will never have to say that they are used to being locked up.

Leaving gangs behind

All my teenage years as a gang member, I learned to hate rival gangs.

One gang that I hated the most was called “Folks” or “Folk Nation”. I have never talked to one and have never liked one, but over the last 4 or 5 months, I’ve become really good friends with a Folk gang member [in jail].

It turns out that we were sentenced to prison on the same day so we will both leave on the same day to go to prison.

I know we probably won’t be able to change anybody’s mind in prison about being in a gang, but just maybe somebody reading my blogs will see that it doesn’t matter what set you represent or where you’re from, or what colors you wear. We are all just human beings.

If you really think about it, gangs don’t do nothing for you. The only thing it will do for you is what it did for me – and that is give you twice as much time for anything you get in trouble for. It only enhances the charges.

For You

Every day I talk to you on the phone. We talk about all the people we both know. We talk about all our favorite things. We talk about the past and future.

We talk about just about everything, but I’ve never actually met you in person.

It’s crazy because you even come to the jail to visit me.

I can’t describe how you bring me out of a bad mood every time I talk to you. You understand everything I’m going through.

Even though I’m going to prison, you tell me that you’ll keep writing – even though some of my closest friends from the street won’t take 10 minutes to at least write and ask how I’m doing.

Even the girl I asked to marry me won’t write me, but for some reason you still do.

I can’t describe how much I’m looking forward to getting out to meet you. I will never be able to repay you for everything you’ve done.

Thank you.

To the Lakeside Community Chapel

It's been a long time since I've been to church or even read my Bible, but the last couple of months, God has been really working in me.

At first it was me blogging on the internet and having a couple of people respond, but a few days ago, I had the most unexpected visit. Someone I went to elementary school with at Lakeside Christian School and went to church with as a kid came and saw me. She told me that the whole church knows about my situation and that everybody is praying for me.

One of the biggest surprises was that the police officer that transported me to jail was an old friend of my dad's and he was the one that put me on the prayer list at my old church. That meant a lot to me and showed me that there are a lot of people that care about me - even if I never see...or talk to them.

I want to say thank you to the officer that put me on the prayer list at church. Please keep praying for me. Also when I get out, you can expect to see me at church.

A message for the judge

Like I said a few blogs ago when I went to court on September 8th, I thought I was going home, but instead the judge told me I was going to prison for 24 months – NO LESS!

At first I just thought she was being mean, but now I realize it’s for the best.

Even though I REALLY DON”T WANT TO GO TO PRISON, it’ll be a new experience and hopefully by me going there and writing about it, other youths will realize what prison is really like and hopefully make better decisions so that they don’t end up like me.

But back to what I really want to say…I don’t know if my sentencing judge reads my blogs or not, but I just want to say to her that even though she sentenced me to 24 months in prison, I know that you only want to see youths such as myself make a better future for ourselves. I truly believe that.

You told me yourself that you wanted to see me turn my life around and I’m trying very much to do so.

Tuesday, September 8th

Last week, my attorney came to see me and she told me that I was going to get my charge dropped from trafficking to a sales & possession charge – which is a lesser charge – and that most likely I would get time served.

But yesterday – Tuesday, September 8th - I went to court and the judge told me they would drop my charge to sales & possession, but they wanted me to serve 24 months DOC (Department of Corrections), which is prison – in case you don’t know.

Most of my time in jail I expected it, but after my attorney came and got my hopes up, I was shocked.

I was so shocked, I asked for a week to think about it – and after only a day – I’m ready to take it.

I was so angry I felt like if anybody would even look at me wrong, I was going to hit them. I was sick to my stomach. I didn’t know what to do.

It’s only been a day since then and I don’t feel much different. I’m just trying to accept the fact that I have to go to prison. I guess I’m as ready as I’m going to be.

Right now I’m trying to keep to myself and not start any fights. I’m really trying to put violence in my past.

Hopefully with good behavior, I’ll be out in 10 more months.

Ted Braden on America's Funniest Home Videos

Now appearing by popular demand (since it was mentioned in a tb-two newspaper article): Baby Teddy appears on the very first episode ever of the popular TV show America's Funniest Home Videos.

Ted Braden (aka Teen in Jail) appeared on the very first episode ever of America's Funniest Home Videos - hosted by Bob Saget - in November 1989 when he was six months old. His father was changing his diaper and Baby Teddy peed in his father's face.

The winning video clip of that particular episode appears first - of a lady stuck inside a dishwasher. The winning video was recorded in 1986 (per the date stamp on bottom).

TV Guide advertised a contest for the very first episode of the show and received 700 entries. After the show aired, they received more than 7,000 videos a week.

Ted’s dad (Bill Braden) videotaped practically every moment of Ted's life (up until 1997 when his parents divorced) since the show aired - hoping to get another tape on the show, but unfortunately never did. (Ted's mom says it was because she was the one running the video camera on that video!)

Ted did give permission in a phone call from jail for this video to be posted.

Stay tuned for more extremely funny videos (and there are plenty!) of Teddy growing up.

If you're unable to view this video, you will need to download Adobe Flash Player at http://get.adobe.com/flashplayer/.

And the verdict is...

I went to court today and entered a plea to accept the state’s offer of a 2-year prison sentence. I’ll get credit for the 11 months of time I spent at the Pinellas County jail, so I’ll be in prison for 13 months. I also can get 94 days deducted from that for good behavior.

I asked the judge for a 24-hour furlough before I went to prison, but she said no.

The judge's last words to me were "Mr. Braden, I do hope you've learned from all of this and after you've served your time that you won't be involved with the criminal justice system again."

I found out today that it might take a week or two for me to get to the Central Florida Reception Center. (I won't be leaving right away like I thought I would.) I could spend up to eight weeks at the reception center waiting to get assigned to a prison. They do extensive psychological and physical tests there to see if prisoners have any medical issues or educational needs. That determines what prison inmates go to. Next, they see if those particular prisons have open beds.

I could be sent to any prison from the Florida panhandle down to the southern end of the state.

If I’m at the reception center for longer than eight weeks, I’ll end up staying there to serve my sentence. They have different building there (Main, East and West) that house permanent residents. There’s two types of housing: Open Pop (open population) or CM (Closed Management). Open Pop is made up of a dorms of bunks. CM is made up of 1- or 2-man cells. There are different levels of Closed Management: CM I, CM II, and CM III (Maximum, Medium and Minimum security). All types of inmates wait there for assignments to the different Florida prisons.

My mom read on Prison Talk that they put you through a million and one things during that process. They’ll tell you to roll up your bed and move you to another location or to medical and in the morning will move you right back to where you were – with no explanation. According to the PT forum, there’s a mental process of owing the inmates nothing and making them be grateful for what they do have.

Prison Talk also said that the reception center was disgusting – mildew and rust on everything, so much so that some inmates are afraid to touch anything.

The food is supposed to be better than in county jail. I sure hope it is.

Prison Talk also says that it might take 10 to 20 days for me to get a letter. Other inmates say they received letters right away. Inmates are allowed to receive 10 sheets of paper, 10 envelopes and a book of stamps in the mail. Some parents didn’t receive their kids' letters for weeks and weeks.

After three weeks at the reception center, I’ll be able to make phone calls (to landlines only - no cell phones). I won’t be allowed visitations at the reception center unless I find out I’ll be staying there permanently. If they send me to another prison, I may not be able to get my first visit until four to six months, but it could be sooner. I hope I get sent somewhere close to home.

I can receive money in my commissary account as soon as I get a DC #. It won’t be the same inmate number I had at the Pinellas County jail. The DC # will be posted on the Florida Department of Corrections web site. They use a site called jpay (www.jpay.com), which is similar to PayPal.

There is a library in prison so I can read. There also may be work programs and education opportunities depending on where I’m sent. I can also receive books in the mail either sent from Amazon.com or directly from the publisher, but they must be paperback books with no spiral wires – any metal can be used as a weapon.

It makes it a little easier to know what I’m facing instead of just a big unknown. Once I find out what prison I’ll be sent to, I’ll be able to find out more info on that facility too.

I’m not happy about being sent away, but I won’t be on probation when I get out. I’ll also have to pay $2,034 in restitution for going with some friends to damage another kid’s car. (Told ya the gang got me into a lot of trouble.) I’ll also owe about $500 per charge for court costs and there’s three charges. I’ll be able to set up a payment plan once I get out to pay it back on a monthly basis.

The visitation process has changed again at the Pinellas County jail. The visitation reservation line (727-464-6842) now opens at 8 a.m. and you can make appointments for visitations for a week at a time now. (You need to have your driver’s license number available when you make a reservation.)

Inmates are only allowed one visit per day. My visitation days are Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. There were no visits open for Tuesday - so someone is coming to visit me - I just don’t know who. My mom and dad will visit me on Wednesday and Brittany and my mom will come this Friday.

I should still be at the Pinellas County jail for at least another week.

Teen in Jail appears on cover of new tb-two newpaper

Talked to my mom and dad on a 3-way call tonight. (Someone in jail let me use their phone card.)

On Thursday, September 10, there was an article about my blog in a new St. Pete Times teen newspaper [called tb-two] that goes to 75,000 high school students in Tampa Bay. A picture of me was on the cover too. I haven't seen the article yet, but I hope it helps some kids keep away from drugs and out of jail.

This article was a totally separate article from the one that appeared in the regular Sunday St. Pete Times paper on September 6.

I told my parents that I heard rumors in jail that they were changing the laws so that only 65% of a sentence could be served, instead of 85%.

I asked my friend Brittni to visit me at the jail on Tuesday. Brittni has been writing me tons of letters and it helps so much that she is there for me. (My girlfriend Kahli is long gone. I've heard that she now refers to me as "my ex-boyfriend in jail".)

My mom reads me the emails that I get at teeninjail@yahoo.com. I got a lot of emails after that article came out in tb-two. Other kids want to write to me in prison too, and I'd really like that. I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that people are thinking about me and praying for me. I can get letters at the reception center when I know my DC #. My mom will post the address and the DC # once she knows it.

I also asked my mom and dad to visit me on Wednesday. It might take about a week for me to be sent to the Central Florida Reception Center in Orlando. Hopefully I'll get to see my family before I'm sent to the reception center and I'm not sent there right away after court.

I have court again tomorrow morning. I want to ask the judge if I will get time served taken off the 24 months sentence. Hopefully I will. Then I would only serve 13 months in prison. I could also get 94 additional days taken off my sentence for good behavior.

Someone sent my mom a really good web site called Prison Talk. It has forums where people post all kinds of information on all of the prisons.

Stay tuned for what happens in court tomorrow...

Blogger's note: Found out online (after the phone call to Ted) that there is a bill in Congress called "hr 1475", but it hasn't passed yet. This is the bill that supports reducing time served in a sentence to 65%. The main supporter of the bill, Representative Charles Rangel, is being investigated for false or non-reporting of income - up to half a million dollars in unreported income. So he'll be busy defending himself and will want to distance himself from criminal justice reform.

7,000 readers and counting...

When I first started writing this blog, I never thought that a whole lot of people would read it - but I was really amazed at how it took off.

I can't believe about 7,000 people have read my blog.

Now that I know people are interested in what I've got to say, that encourages me to keep writing - even though I might not be able to think of anything to write.

I just hope that at least one person out of 7,000 would take some of the advice I have to give to heart. I hope nobody will make the same mistakes I did.

Please keep reading and also I want any advice that ya'll have to give to me.

Being focused

Here in this jail, I spent a lot of time thinking about the wrong things.

I would think about what my friends were doing and what I could be doing.

But over the last few months, writing these blog entries has helped me realize what things I should be thinking about.

Now I try to think about what I’m going to do when I get out instead of thinking about what I could be doing if I were out.

Also now instead of thinking of what my friends are doing, I think about going to school and getting a good job.

Changing the way I think is the hardest thing to do, but if I can successfully do it, it will be the most rewarding.

Photo: Ted at Busch Gardens at 15 years old.

What I heard about my sentence

Tonight my parents came to visit me at the jail.

It was incredibly hard to find out yesterday that I would be doing at least two years in prison.

My mom talked to my attorney on the phone today. The attorney said that it would be two years minus the time served (24 months - 11 months = 13 months). She also said that if I keep out of trouble (no arguments, fights or escape attempts), I could maybe get some time off for good behavior as well.

The attorney will ask the judge to recommend that I be sent someplace close to home. The judge can't determine where I'll be sent. Only the intake center can say where I'll go. But the judge can possibly recommend one prison to the intake center.

There is a work release camp near the Pinellas County jail, where prisoners can go to in order to serve the last year of their sentence. I may be eligible to go there.

There's also a prison/work camp in Largo. The penitentiaries nearest my home in Clearwater would be in Zephyrhills, Hillsborough and Polk counties. There is also an adult prison at Avon Park next door to where I spent 9 months at the juvenile facility. You can click on the hyperlinks and click on Browse Current Population to view photos and profiles of the inmates in the prisons.

When I enter a plea on Monday morning, I will then be eligible to go right away to the Orlando reception center, which is an intake facility for people going to prison. I will stay there two weeks and they will evaluate me to determine what prison I go to. It could be a minimum, moderate or maximum security facility.

I won't be kept with only younger inmates, as I wasn't tried as a youthful offender. (One of my podmates was involved with armed robbery, but was tried as a youthful offender.) So I'll be in with inmates of all ages.

As long as I keep out of any fights, I won't be housed with the violent offenders like murderers.

I hear from other guys here that they have college classes or trades you can go to in prison and I'd like to go to them.

I'm trying to keep positive and look at it as another experience to write about. My mom told me that a lot of famous authors have been in prison - such as Jack London and O'Henry.

My attorney told me before court that she thought I had a 90% chance of getting a sentence of time served and that I might get out of jail sometime after court on Tuesday. So it hit me doubly hard when I found out that wouldn't be the case and that I'd be doing [what I thought at the time] would be at least two more years.

I'll ask the judge on Monday if the sentence will for sure be 24 months minus any timed served.

But whatever she says, I'll definitely accept the deal. I don't want to face 30 years in prison.

Photo: Video visitation room at the Pinellas County jail.

More famous writers that have spent time in prison: Boethius, Cervantes, Campanella, Daniel Defoe, Thomas More, Walter Raleigh, Leigh Hunt, Oscar Wilde, Maxim Gorky, Chernyeshevsky, Dostoyevsky, Solzhenitsyn, Francois Villon, Voltaire, Diderot, The Marquis de Sade, Jean Genet, Saint Paul, Malcolm X.

Court update

Today Ted went to court.

Both the judge and the state attorney had already read the article in the St. Pete Times about the Teen in Jail blog (that appeared in the Sunday, September 6th issue) by the time he appeared in the courtroom.

Ted's trafficking charge has been changed to a lesser charge of sales and possession because the pills that he was arranging to be sold didn't contain enough MDMA (Ecstasy) to constitute trafficking, according to the forensic analysis.

Ted's attorney asked the judge if Ted's sentence could be reduced to 12 months with time served.

The state attorney reiterated that Ted had been getting into trouble for seven years - including burglary, grand theft, and numerous drug charges. In fact, he said, Ted had appeared in court and had just been put on probation when he was arrested three days later for his current charge. The court doesn't take violation of probation lightly.

The state offered Ted a deal of two years in prison.

Ted's attorney tried three times to get the sentence reduced, including asking that he be sent to Solid Rock, a drug rehab in St. Petersburg. Finally she asked for only 18 months prison time.

The judge said that while she could appreciate what Ted was trying to do with his writing, she had to go by his past record, not by his promises to do better.

Actions speak louder than words.

She recommended that he take the state's deal, as it was extremely generous. Ted has accumulated enough points to go to at least 3½ years in prison. If he decided to go to a jury trial, his charges carried a maximum sentence of 30 years prison time.

A jury might not be so lenient.

Since Ted didn't have an immediate answer and wanted to think about it, the judge set a new court date for Monday, September 14th at 8:30 a.m. He will have to tell her if he will take the two years in prison or take his chances at a trial.

Map of local correctional facilities

More info about local correctional facilities

Court tomorrow

Tomorrow I have a court hearing at 8:30 a.m.

I get to get up at 4:30 a.m. and it'll be seven or eight hours before I return to my pod at the jail.

Although there have been a lot of postponements, I think tomorrow I may find out whether or not I'll be sentenced to prison, be sent to a drug rehab, or get house arrest.

It could be postponed again though.

I won't get much sleep tonight...

My first days in jail

When I first came to the Pinellas County jail for my most recent charges [in October 2008], I had the supreme pleasure of being put in maximum security.

I was placed in a small cell with a metal door. Inside the cell, there was a cot with a thin mat on it, a metal desk and a metal toilet. Nothing else.

I stayed in that cell for two whole days.

I wasn’t let out at all. All meals were brought to the cell on trays.

The bed had no sheets, no pillow and no blanket. There was just a mat and that’s it.
I got to stare at the walls for 24/7. There were no books, no TV. Nothing.

It gave me a whole new perspective on being bored.

Photo: Solitary cell in the Pinellas County jail - credit Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

What life could've been like

I often find myself thinking about what my life would be like today if I would have never gotten arrested before. And honestly, I have no idea.

It’s hard for me to imagine my past any different because all I know is crime.

I would like to think that I would’ve completed high school [instead of a GED] and been well on my way to completing college.

Also I wouldn’t have to stress myself out about not getting caught by the police all the time. That right there would’ve been great!

I really just would’ve liked to have done something to make my family proud of me.

I hope that by helping other people I can change that.

Even though I have a lot of regrets, I now know how to use my past to better my future and hopefully someone else’s also.

A new start

When I was 12 years old – and before I had ever got into any trouble – my mom and I went on a Globus bus tour of the national parks out West.

The trip started in Las Vegas and went to the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Grand Tetons, Yellowstone and Mount Rushmore.

We had the best time and went on two helicopter rides – once over Las Vegas and once over the Grand Canyon. We went rafting three times - through the Grand Canyon, on the Snake River and outside of Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

I think a lot about Wyoming here in jail.

We stayed one night in a log cabin in Jackson Hole and the whole area was so relaxing. I’d like to go back and get a job there someday. It would also be a great place to work on my book.

I worry about the fact that the Clearwater police will be watching me every minute after I get out [of jail].

I’d like to start over somewhere else.

Starting over may be easier said than done but at least I will not need a surety company to insure my new start. I just need determination and the help of my Mom.

My goals

The last couple of weeks, a lot of different people have asked me what my goals are when I am released.

At first, I told them that I didn’t know – but that answer scared me – because if I didn’t have something to work toward when I get out, then I would soon be doing what I was doing before.

Now after many nights lying in bed thinking, I came up with an answer.

Even though I have a bad criminal record, I am going to college to study English and photography.

By accomplishing that, I can accomplish my other goal – to tell everybody that even though the life I was living seemed so appealing at the time, in fact I was making the same mistakes over and over again.

I’d also like to write a book about my experiences. I have more stories than could possibly be written about in this blog. Maybe somewhere, somehow, it could change at least one life.

One thing I have learned if nothing else is that without a goal and something to work toward – no matter your intentions – you are doomed.

Just my luck

When I was 15 years old, I was waiting outside a gas station for a friend to pick me up. The neighborhood that I was in was a known drug area and I was the only white person around.

On this particular night, I had nothing illegal on me and I wasn’t doing anything wrong.

While I was waiting, I saw a man come out of the gas station with a brand new pack of cigarettes. I walked up to the man and asked him for a cigarette. He reached into his pocket and pulled a pack out with two cigarettes left in it and gave them to me. (The guy looked like he smoked crack.)

I went back to the curb I was sitting on and smoked a cigarette. Right about the time I finished it, a cop pulled up to me and asked how I was doing, and I told him I was fine. He asked me what I was doing standing there and I told him I was waiting to be picked up by a friend. Then he asked me if I had anything illegal on me, and I told him that the only things in my pockets were a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

He asked to search me and because I didn’t have anything on me, I said sure. He patted me down and pulled out the pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and reached in it and pulled out of it a small bag of cocaine.

He asked me about it and I told him that the man standing on the other side of the street gave me the pack and he must have left it in there. So the cop went and asked the man if he gave me the cigarettes and the man admitted to the cop that he did give them to me not even 5 – 10 minutes ago. Even with the man saying he gave me the pack, I still went to jail. That other guy got to go home and probably smoke crack.

Even though I’m pretty sure the cocaine belonged to the guy that gave me the cigarettes, I can’t help but wonder if the cop planted it on me.

Running from cops

I can’t count how many times I’ve run from the cops.

I’ve been in two chases in a car (both times I got away) and too many chases to count on foot.

A lot of times when I run from the cops, they always try to sneak up on me while I’m at my house. I always can tell if they’re about to try something when there’s a police cruiser parked on each end of my block.

Whenever I think they’re coming for me, I take off from my backyard and run across the street to the school that’s right next to my house. When I get there, I jump on the shed and from there I jump on the roof. Once I’m on the roof, the only way to keep up with me is in a helicopter and even though I haven’t tried, I’d be willing to bet I could still get away.

After awhile, the cops caught on to me and started parking at the school too. One time they did that, they caught me off guard, so I had to run through a church with nothing but open space around instead. It was just my luck that the cop that was parked at the school probably ran track professionally – he tackled me in seconds.

Illustration by Jeff Harter and used with permission from http://jeffharter.blogspot.com/.

My biggest regret

As all of you can imagine, I have more regrets than I can count.

There isn't a day where I think about something I've done and thought that it was stupid of me to do what I did.

One of my biggest regrets is joining a gang.

It hurts me to admit this because I have never told any of my family about this. They are finding out about this when my blog gets posted.

I can't exactly remember when I joined, but I do know I was too young.

Of course there is never a good age to join a gang.

A lot of my decisions I made just to prove myself to my set. Also I grew up hating other gangs for no reason other than the colors they wore or the gang signs they threw up.

I know that if I wasn't in a gang, I would've gotten in a lot less trouble.

When I am released, I am going to have nothing to do with the people from my past life. A lot of them will probably have problems with me 'cause I have no loyalty toward them no more, but one day I'm going to have to face that - and when that time comes, I'm not really sure what I will do.

All I really can do is face it like a man.

(Photo taken from my MySpace page.)

Avon Park

Right after I turned 17, I was sentenced to Avon Park Youth Academy, a 9 - 12 month moderate-security juvenile detention center.

The first month or so, you live in 1 of 2 units in which there is nothing to do except count grains of dirt on the ground.

During those first 30 days, you wake up and clean your unit, eat, and then work out 'til you can't work out no more. Then for the rest of the day, you have to be stuck in the same classroom as 50 other kids doing classwork. The rest of your day was easy 'cause there wasn't anything to do.

After the first 30 days or so, you were placed in a vocational trade. There was culinary arts, auto mechanics, landscaping, electrical, masonry, carpentry and web design.

I was in Landscaping. Every morning I would wake up, clean, go to breakfast, then go to my trade. For the next 6 - 8 hours, I was taught by an instructor named Mrs. Norsko. After trade, everyone else went to school, but because I already had my GED, I got to stay and work with my instructor. A lot of times, she would bring pizza and soda.

The rest of the day was easy. After trade and class, we went back to our own unit where there were board games, cards and TV. Each unit held about 20 people. After the first 30 days, this is where I spent the next 6 - 7 months.

My last 2 months, I got moved to a unit where everybody was almost about to go home. Also my last 2 months (after I finished my vocational trade training), I was put on an off-compound work crew that went out into town to work. We were worked to death, but it was better than being behind a fence all day.

All in all, I did 9½ months and graduated.

Photo: Ted's release from Avon Park - walking to freedom

Not knowing

On September 8th, I have a [yet another] pre-trial court date. By then I will have been in jail 15 months (with a short three days in there 11 months ago when I was let out).

What kills me the most is not the time I'm facing - it's the fact that I don't know what will happen.

I hate not knowing.

I watch people come in here - and within a few months at the most - they get some kind of